Descent

[softlyfalling]

I am not permitted to delete, it seems
Vanished

[Aphroditeny]

Wow, this was darkly beautiful.
The imagery amazing!

[justcloudy]

hi softlyfalling

this one really struck me. wasn't expecting the end at all, and it hit much harder because of that. absolutely lovely. I think in this one, free from the restraint of meter is much more effective than the other you posted.

as I finished it I wanted to reread it immediately--not because I didn't quite get it (as usually happens with me ;p haha) but because rereading it with a new context was totally different. as if it were two different poems. personally, I think that's awesome. well done.

just two little things-- don't capitalize every line, just when you need to for the sentence break. it'll feel a bit more raw like that. and maybe change "the chair" to "that chair".

thanks for this. =]

[softlyfalling]

Thank you! Your encouragement is awesome. However, I capitalize every line because that instills some sense of form...this is my comfort zone...i suppose I should stop being afraid to branch out, tho.