Immortal Nightmares

[LoneWolf]

Pray to the unknown god
inside my head.
Forsake my soul each time I go to bed.
Bleed me dead
for all the sins,
Burn me dead
because I don't give in.
All light fades,
so alone.
As always, more than ever
I'm left all on my own.
No strength for smiles,
No strength for tears.
All I can do is hide
behind shame and blind fears.

Who is this person
I see,
Who shares my guilt, my hate,
So lonely.
The same despairs rise
In both of us, burning deeper like coal.
Everything inside is exactly the same
Yet we've never shared the same soul.
Who is this person
searching frantically,
For what they lost,
What they never had,
This person
Looks just like me.

Confusion. Rejection.
Refusion. Disconnection.

Raging infernos
Suffocate my breath,
Now all's quiet, all is still,
As I beg for sweet death.
Death.
Sweet death, come claim me,
Let me be free
From this mind,
These nightmares,
And their immortality.

[softlyfalling]

I feel the power of emotions and relate only too well to this level of Hell. This is right at the top of the poems I have read on this site. You take the de rigueur conversational language I keep seeing here and step it up, elevate it to a more transcendent level. I know, I know...nitty-gritty and all that....sometimes I think the people who crave and covet nitty-gritty are the ones who never really scrabbled for the last shreds of dignity and soul in their lives.
You have either lived through a personal hell or you are simply a brilliant writer, or both.

[softlyfalling]

Why is this not getting more attention???? It deserves to be read, to be appreciated and felt and mused about! 24 reads and no comments?!? I am wondering why?

[Carile]

This is good, indeed. I have to say I felt a bit ill-at-ease with "bleed me dead / for all the sins" : I thought the poem was gonna be a hackneyed biblical reference (this is NOT against religion of any kind : I have no problem with this type of allegories or references as long as they're coherent with the poem, and worded in an inspiring way... just like everything else), but I was reassured after. I like the second stanza especially. Love the lines "Everything inside is exactly the same / Yet we've never shared the same soul." Maybe try not to repeat "the same", if an elegant alternative is possible ?

@softlyfalling : feeling sympathy with the author's feelings is good, but not sufficient, in my opinion. A poet must pay close attention to the "musical" and cultural properties (connotations, innuendos...) of the material he uses. This is what makes the difference between a poem and a page from a diary, for example - though many hybrid and intermediate forms are possible, as always in literature. And this is why, I think, many readers are reluctant to comment. Add the fact that several poems are posted everyday in each category, and not everybody has the time to scrutinise everything, even if they enjoyed their read...