Nature of things

[escorial]

the cuckoo destroyed the ungaurded eggs
as the fox devoured the young lamb
a blue tit was murdered by a magpie
while domestic cat chewed another bird head off
raven watched doe die in a trap
hedgehog squashed under a wheel
cow died from what it ate
maggots fed of the murdered dead mans body
tadpoles swallowed by a carp
thats the nature of things
__________________

[Carile]

Hi,
Interesting idea. But may I suggest you mark a progression in your poem ? For example from natural deaths to those caused by humans (doe, hedgehog...). It would add a touch of cynicism regarding man's attitude toward death - we fear it, make it taboo, and at the same time happily, gratuitously spread it everywhere we go like no other creature does. As for syntax, maybe try to keep using link words ("as", "while"), like in the first lines, or shorten your poem ; otherwise it might tend to become a mere list.
There are a few spelling and grammar mistakes, I think : *unguarded, *man's, *that's
Although I am not the best judge. Thanks for this poem,

Carile