Posts: 10
Threads: 5
Joined: Mar 2013
It's silly the difference a Day can make
It was the difference between me with you
The difference between flying high and feeling blue
A Day can undo life into death
It can take a body and steal its breath
A Day, can be irreversibly unforgiving
But alas, one need not feel bereft
Even when one has been left
A Day is like a remedy,
Breathing life back into me
Posts: 33
Threads: 13
Joined: Feb 2013
the day seems to be the driving force for this piece...is it about the passage of time or just one days decisions you've made that effect your life.
Posts: 5,057
Threads: 1,075
Joined: Dec 2009
the 2nd and 3rd stanza aren't too bad, the first stanza is pretty much a rolling cliche. take out any thing that doesn't add and see if you can make the 1st stanza oriinal. i do like the 1st line of the 2nd stanza a lot.
(03-11-2013, 04:05 PM)tjs2465 Wrote: It's silly the difference a Day can make
It was the difference between me with you
The difference between flying high and feeling blue
A Day can undo life into death
It can take a body and steal its breath
A Day, can be irreversibly unforgiving
But alas, one need not feel bereft
Even when one has been left
A Day is like a remedy,
Breathing life back into me
Posts: 10
Threads: 5
Joined: Mar 2013
(03-12-2013, 12:29 AM)escorial Wrote: the day seems to be the driving force for this piece...is it about the passage of time or just one days decisions you've made that effect your life.
It's more about the affect that any day can have on your life.
Posts: 33
Threads: 13
Joined: Feb 2013
is the day the cause of all that has happened or just a passage of time
