O Spider

[wellfordtooth]

O Spider! hanging from your silken web
Teach us the beauty of divine nature
Upon your silk home, of pearl and azure
Nature of majestic stags and scarabs

Hostility comes forth and you ebb
Into shadow, to ensure your future
Teach us of nature and its true allure
And its power, such has the great Cherub

However, you live in the street gutter
In the city where only the lost ghosts
Shift through each other without a mutter

To teach of nature you know not the most
But of art, life, and love torn asunder
You are most wise and deliver such boast

[billy]

hi wellfordtooth.
i like that you're trying to use meter. meter can be a great asset despite the type of poem we write. one of the problems you have is that the meter isn't constant, you can alter meter if you're name is leanne and you know what you're doing but in your poem the consistency prob's don't seem to be on purpose. here's a link for meter problems. with iambic meter which is the norm, you use unstressed then stressed syllables

O Spider! hanging from your silken web
Teach us the beauty of divine nature
Upon your silk home, of pearl and azure
Nature of majestic stags and scarabs

Hostility comes forth and you ebb
Into shadow, to ensure your future
Teach us of nature and its true allure
And its power, such has the great Cherub

However, you live in the street gutter
In the city where only the lost ghosts
Shift through each other without a mutter

To teach of nature you know not the most
But of art, life, and love torn asunder
You are most wise and deliver such boast