Keep That in Mind

[nothing_good16]

Men?
Since when?
Useless creatures
with unbecoming features.

Have you forgotten that we friend with diamonds?
Girl,
don't dismiss your worth.
Remember,
our depths come from deep within the Earth.

Don't lie with the dogs,
you'll end up with disease.
Stand up unless you're praying
and get up off your knees.

There's enough man in woman.
For God made us to stand alone.
You better understand
and get up on your throne!

[nothing_good16]

A strong read For the ladies!
There is something strange about L5. "friend" doesn't fit. Perhaps "befriend". Or perhaps you want to get across the idea that you (women) are of equal worth to diamonds.
Another little niggle concerns the first line of stanza 4. You seem to say that men are still superior to women if women only have enough "man" to stand alone.
Overall, I like the power of this piece.

thanks for your feedback. But, for stanza 4 I meant it in the sense of women being the greater gender using the structure of the word "woMAN". I was attempting to say that sense we already have "man" in us (our name), that we don't need a man (in person form). We have enough in us to sustain for ourselves.....if that makes any sense. lol...maybe i should find a way to rephrase it.

[Jae Mc Donnell]

Before I comment on the poem I have to say something.

With little changes this poem could relate to a feminine or submissive male straight or gay and the male part could be flipped for a masculine or dominant female straight or gay and what about transgender people. I would like to think most intellectual people would have moved beyond these archaic gender roles and understand that anything along those lines is very sexist and discriminant against humans, all humans.

Few comments on the poem.

Men?
Since when?
Useless creatures
with unbecoming features. This stanza read very well, great job.

Have you forgotten that we friend with diamonds? This line reads a bit off for me. I'm not really sure what your trying to say
Girl,
don't dismiss your worth.
Remember,
our depths come from deep within the Earth. depths and deep don't work well together, maybe roots for depths

Don't lie with the dogs,
you'll end up with disease. Great line and messege to all
Stand up unless you're praying
and get up off your knees.

There's enough man in woman. This doesn't come across as you want it to.
For God made us to stand alone.
You better understand
and get up on your throne!