02-05-2013, 12:54 PM
Title courtesy of Todd! =D Thanks for reading my poem!
1st Edit:
Heart on Fire, Soul a Cliche
Raindrops are
Angel tears, God’s regret
Shed for angst.
Uniquely teens’.
Or a joke,
Saints pissing, Zeus laughing;
Cold jabs mocking misfortune.
Nature’s attempt to cool down
This overheated Earth.
Sunshine
Reflects light in heart,
Painting portraits of happiness
Seen from within concrete cages.
Or how the rays sting,
Day after day
Coded like machines
Stuck in perpetual cycle,
Contentment a false comfort.
Love,
A terminal disease
Burning hearts, drowning souls;
Forcing one to befriend
Sunshine and raindrops.
The only cure
Another with the same illness.
Side effects include illusions of grandeur,
And perceived depression when almost healed.
Coke bottles jubilant, sofas crying;
All things emote; feelings spilling over,
Like the girl next door, lamenting
Life’s unfairness while polishing nails.
Heard so often, it’s tuned out.
Listeners are left wondering
If there’s hope for the next generation.
Original:
Heart on Fire, Soul a Cliche
Raindrops are
Angel tears, God’s regret
Shed for angst.
Uniquely teens’.
Or a joke,
Saints pissing, Zeus laughing
At your picnic ruined.
Cold jabs mocking misfortune.
Sunshine
Reflects light in heart.
Birds singing under clear blue sky
Painting portrait of happiness.
Or how the rays sting,
Day after day
Coded like machines
Stuck in perpetual cycle.
Love,
A terminal disease
Burning hearts, drowning souls;
Forcing one to befriend
Sunshine and raindrops.
The only cure
Another with the same illness.
Side effects include illusions of grandeur,
And perceived depression when almost healed.
Coke bottles jubilant, sofas crying;
All things emote; feelings spilling over,
Like the girl next door, lamenting
Life’s unfairness while polishing nails.
Heard so often, it’s tuned out.
Listeners are left wondering
If there’s hope for the next generation.
-----------------------------------------------
I suddenly had the urge to write a poem with a lot of cliches, and this is what came out of it. I know that some of the word choices and structure makes the poem stiff, and I don't know how to make it more over the top. Any feedback is greatly appreciated. =) Thanks for your time!
1st Edit:
Heart on Fire, Soul a Cliche
Raindrops are
Angel tears, God’s regret
Shed for angst.
Uniquely teens’.
Or a joke,
Saints pissing, Zeus laughing;
Cold jabs mocking misfortune.
Nature’s attempt to cool down
This overheated Earth.
Sunshine
Reflects light in heart,
Painting portraits of happiness
Seen from within concrete cages.
Or how the rays sting,
Day after day
Coded like machines
Stuck in perpetual cycle,
Contentment a false comfort.
Love,
A terminal disease
Burning hearts, drowning souls;
Forcing one to befriend
Sunshine and raindrops.
The only cure
Another with the same illness.
Side effects include illusions of grandeur,
And perceived depression when almost healed.
Coke bottles jubilant, sofas crying;
All things emote; feelings spilling over,
Like the girl next door, lamenting
Life’s unfairness while polishing nails.
Heard so often, it’s tuned out.
Listeners are left wondering
If there’s hope for the next generation.
Original:
Heart on Fire, Soul a Cliche
Raindrops are
Angel tears, God’s regret
Shed for angst.
Uniquely teens’.
Or a joke,
Saints pissing, Zeus laughing
At your picnic ruined.
Cold jabs mocking misfortune.
Sunshine
Reflects light in heart.
Birds singing under clear blue sky
Painting portrait of happiness.
Or how the rays sting,
Day after day
Coded like machines
Stuck in perpetual cycle.
Love,
A terminal disease
Burning hearts, drowning souls;
Forcing one to befriend
Sunshine and raindrops.
The only cure
Another with the same illness.
Side effects include illusions of grandeur,
And perceived depression when almost healed.
Coke bottles jubilant, sofas crying;
All things emote; feelings spilling over,
Like the girl next door, lamenting
Life’s unfairness while polishing nails.
Heard so often, it’s tuned out.
Listeners are left wondering
If there’s hope for the next generation.
-----------------------------------------------
I suddenly had the urge to write a poem with a lot of cliches, and this is what came out of it. I know that some of the word choices and structure makes the poem stiff, and I don't know how to make it more over the top. Any feedback is greatly appreciated. =) Thanks for your time!
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