Hope

[revolver1966]

So I'm new to poetry, but here goes...

Hope is the light at the very end of a dark tunnel,
Barely peeking through the concave walls,
It is when one waits for a second chance,
Wishing it would come sooner, eager for its arrival,
It is a beautiful type of anxiousness,
Locked away in the back of our heads, keeping us afloat,
It is the morning, and it is the night,
Never knowing if we will encounter the sun or the moon again, only expecting to,
It is a first love,
Destined to break hearts, but indulged in the faith that it will remain,
It is our fear of death,
Realizing it is inevitable, but attempting to dodge its lethal grasp anyway,
It is defying the occurrence of a terrible fate,
Fearing the consequences, anxious to evade it,
It is happiness,
And wanting to experience it over and over again,
To hope is to dream of an exquisite possibility.

[Todd]

You have some nice lines here. Some really interesting ones. The comments you move to after morning and night for instance. Two issues to look at:

In some places you are a little more wordy than you need to be. Like where you elaborate on death with the lethal grasp part. Ending with dodge would probably better. Look for words you can cut without sacrificing tone or meaning.

Also, your opening line is a cliche which starts you off badly and undermines your later better lines. There's an easy fix you could play off the cliche...Hope is not the light... On line 3 you could lead with Instead.

Just a thought.

Welcome to the site!

Best,

Todd

[serge gurkski]

welcome from me to. I do not understand your poem.

I like:

" keeping us afloat,
It is the morning, and it is the night,"
I find it poetical and it flows fine and it is new. Here i can hear a distinct voice, your voice.

"It is our fear of death,"
I agree, but the phrasing is not as good as in my quote above.

your last line is not bad at all.
So I have mixed feelings, but you said that you are new to poetry.
I want to encourage you to write on.

serge