Youh Night Life

[strawhatted]

Youth Night Life

Guts drunken-
Hearts drowned in two hour wisdom-
Thoughts fertilized by poisoned side street air-
Flesh moving to praise our freedom

Convinced.
Shouting solutions
until-
light ships reality.

Dim brick building light
absorbed
by morning sponge.
-orange-

Cement tongues
taste
the truth of the morning.

[rowens]

It's one of those poems that does what it seems set out to do. And I like it all right.

I can see where it's coming from. And its fragmented style remains coherent.

It works when you stay on the same plane with it, and move in and out of its own dimensions.

The dash/hyphens sort of work with this style of poem. The feeling of connections and disconnections.

Somebody with the power can fix your title if they come by. Or you can ask them, I guess.

[Hurst]

Fun. Your first stanza was the best. 'Two hour wisdom'. Nice. I might like this stanza more because you've included more detail. Not sure why you altered your line length after the first stanza. 'Cement' was well chosen. I'm not sure about 'light ships reality.'

-Hurst