Fear your actions

[Pigler]

Fear your actions

Drenched in self-inflicting pain
Drowned in scars that linger and remain
Burned with words of spite
Brought down and robbed of the wish to fight

Wishing to be the one that provoked
But what's good about in hate being soaked
What are you given if you inflict sorrow
And follow the one that everyone else chooses to follow

What is the prize given for crushing a soul
Maliciousness, the violents' purpose sole
What do you get for insulting a name
Who loves you more if you put another to shame

Minding someone else's business, a way of hiding from your own
Showing what from others you have been shown
So fear your reckless, destructive actions
For it is you and only you whom will feel the given reactions

[Alternative last stanza:
So bite your tongue, if needed, more than twice
Because what goes around comes around and one day you'll be the one paying the price]

[BennyBoy]

That reads very smoothly! Good job.

[Pigler]

Thank you

up

[newsclippings]

"But what's good about in hate being soaked"

I'm not sure about this line. This actually didn't read as smoothly as I'd hoped. I like the original ending and not the alternate.

Also the first two lines seem unnecessary. They're both a little weak compared to the next two lines.
I was also always told to eliminate words where unnecessary, so I would personally get rid of the word "of" in the last line of the first stanza.

[Leanne]

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