Dinner date
#1
A curious snippet had lunch with a cricket
they eat moth ball and mushroom pie.
Mr Snail the waiter came two hours later
with a drink that could close one eye

Now these snippets are prone, if they are left alone
to finding small pieces of cheese
when the cricket partook and his other eye shut
snippet lap danced a re-verse strip tease.

but the problem you see and I say this with glee
is that cricket, finally came round
and there in his lap, the snippet was sat
by seven jumpers, four bra's she was bound

Cricket jumped up and his fist he shook
at the clothes ball, that lay on the floor
over garments all gone, screamed what have you done
his mistake was in closing the door

With madness afoot, miss snippet jumped up
and swigged on her eye closing brew
they set off in a dance, called lost underpants
and from that moment on they just knew.

Blue bells chimed just in time
as the cockroach arrived at the gate
with snail as the vicar it could have gone quicker
they swapped rings at a quarter to eight.

The weather was mild and she heavy with child
felt the urge to call for the cricket
he brought hot water, she gave him a daughter
a mischievous bouncing young snicket.

If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out
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#2
This poem has a lot of whimsy, which seems to be a product of the great flow you have and the entire setting. Your work made me feel nostalgic, because it reminded me of peter cottontail for some odd reason. I have nothing to really critique you, but I just had to thank you for the great read! I absolutely loved this poem (and i say that with all sincerity.) Oh and by the way you have me craving "moth ball and mushroom pie," it sounds delightful!
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#3
(12-31-2012, 07:27 AM)shotknot Wrote:  This poem has a lot of whimsy, which seems to be a product of the great flow you have and the entire setting. Your work made me feel nostalgic, because it reminded me of peter cottontail for some odd reason. I have nothing to really critique you, but I just had to thank you for the great read! I absolutely loved this poem (and i say that with all sincerity.) Oh and by the way you have me craving "moth ball and mushroom pie," it sounds delightful!

Thanks for your kind comments, Peter Cottontail doesn't sound odd at all to me, you see the place they had lunch in my mind was in an uderground burrow Smile

If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out
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#4
i've read this before but it seems a bit different.

loved it. it;s like a cross between lewiss caroll and an idiot "DBig Grin great stuff.
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#5
Really enjoyed what you have done with this.
Agree with Billy this has a Alice in wonderland quality about it.
Surprisingly and wonderfully silly and at the same time making perfect sense.
Thanks Kieth - great edit.
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#6
(12-31-2012, 01:03 PM)billy Wrote:  i've read this before but it seems a bit different.

loved it. it;s like a cross between lewiss caroll and an idiot "DBig Grin great stuff.

Yes, the idiot added 4 versesBig Grin and thanks for your help setting up the first two.
Keith

(12-31-2012, 06:32 PM)cidermaid Wrote:  Really enjoyed what you have done with this.
Agree with Billy this has a Alice in wonderland quality about it.
Surprisingly and wonderfully silly and at the same time making perfect sense.
Thanks Kieth - great edit.

Thanks for your comment Cidermaid, had fun adding to this one.
Happy new ears Big Grin
Keith

If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out
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