Casanova Target Practice

[rEVOLVEr]

Inside screams, repetetively
playing off my vulnerability..
the reverb of my heart
Now viral and in the form
of a delightful tingling ..
as this feathery velvet ventures outward - stretching as far as my finger-tips ...

Violently vibrating i approach the curve, steaming as i swerve from this back-street
of boring sensibility
onto the busy avenue
of primal sensuality ..

and I don't care if it's rush-hour ..
the animal in me has a taste for you

But .. I've never been to this part of town ..
I'm intrigued even though my nerves
remain nervous..

her body was like my first time shooting a gun.
I suddenly surrendered
to an over-whelming sense
of confidence once i realized that she
was begging
for target practice

Luckily for me -
I'm armed to the fucking teeth..
with the hammer already pulled back
on a shotgun tongue -
i slowly raise my weapon
and begin to salivate
as i gaze down
the iron sights of desire

But what if my gun mis-fires?!

a pallete of pure panic plummeted directly to where my pride resides..
& I lie still, paralyzed

Luckily, I was able to negotiate with myself and barter for a few deep breaths
Filling my lungs - where my words are kept
no regret once I elect
to announce proudly

"I GET TO SHOOT MY FIRST GUN TODAY!"
willingly careless I shoot
wildly from the hip ..
a rose-nosed rookie
numb to his own naivety.

Almost all ammo exhausted
in a matter if moments.
Turning the target into confetti, burned
And finding my first BULLSEYE
does my final bullet fly ..
with the rugged grace
of a spaghetti western

She lusted for the full-metal-jacket
she was impressed with my aim..

& although my magazine ran empty
At the rate of a rapid-fire Rambo..
Practice makes for perfection precisely
I wish I had more ammo..

[billy]

a shotgun with a full metal jacket
in parts i thought it was a sex poem.

willingly careless I shoot
wildly from the hip ..

gun being metaphor for penis.
after the last line the thought in my mind was "should have had a viagra"
the problem i had was, it felt like it could have been either type of poem yet it wasn't strong enough as any one type could/should have been. some of the innuendo felt weak in that they felt too obvious. which in turn makes them fail as non innuendo for seeing being seen as such.

Luckily for me -
I'm armed to the fucking teeth..
with the hammer already pulled back
on a shotgun tongue -
i slowly raise my weapon
and begin to salivate
as i gaze down
the iron sights of desire

the above feels sooo cheesy yet at the same time feels a bit odd. what's a shot gun tongue, if you mean cock then what's the hammer. if you don't mean cock what's the tongue?

i wish i could be of more help or less negative.