Mystery

[davidbenjamindix]

If you have ready any of my poems, you know they sit on the edge of a riddle. The title and answer is at the bottom. Try not to view it until you have to.


Tuck away on a rainy day
pairing up, one won't survive the task.
Open up and exhibit,
the delicate, weightless, and shapeshifting wonder.

Displaying veins in a shocking formation,
thrust into vast greatness.
Dreamt of for centuries,
worn head to toe and upside down.

Tied to a rope, the key of discovery;
art of invention, hanging on the wall of envy;
struting around showing off,
model your perfect design!

Choosing the best angle of attack,
support the micro vehicles that sting and bite,
fluffed up or bolted on,
track down the vaccination to formula one.

Maple babies produce returning trees,
lifted up and dragged back down,
the costa and radius, roundabout the margin
fueled up to drive the machine.













wing

[heslopian]

If you have ready any of my poems, you know they sit on the edge of a riddle. The title and answer is at the bottom. Try not to view it until you have to.


Tuck away on a rainy day Should a comma go here?
pairing up, one won't survive the task.
Open up and exhibit, Is this comma needed? I feel like this line and the next are part of the same sentence clause.
the delicate, weightless, and shapeshifting wonder.

Displaying veins in a shocking formation, Good use of the word "shocking".
thrust into vast greatness. Your images are simple and vague but effective, perhaps because you understand what you want to convey.
Dreamt of for centuries,
worn head to toe and upside down.

Tied to a rope, the key of discovery;
art of invention, hanging on the wall of envy;
strutting around showing off,
model your perfect design!

Choosing the best angle of attack,
support the micro vehicles that sting and bite,
fluffed up or bolted on,
track down the vaccination to formula one.

Maple babies Excellent phrase. produce returning trees,
lifted up and dragged back down,
the costa and radius, roundabout the margin
fueled up to drive the machine.













wing

I know your poems are riddles, but I'll critique them for their poetic qualities. This is a good poem in that it uses straightforward language to evoke immensity and beauty. I'd like to see you try a proper narrative rather than a riddle at some point, though. Thank you for the read

[Keith]

I got it at Model your perfect design, you have some great lines in here with well balanced phrasing, I agree with Heslopian thy should av a proper go