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You could possibly call this "(21)"
Keeps with the list theme and ties into the poem. Maybe a little too obvious though.
If something happens and you can remedy it, Why worry?
And if something happens that you can't remedy, Still why worry?
www.benjack.co.nz
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hi jess, yeah, poems are better with titles, it makes them look owned
because of the footnote, i'm reading this as you want feedback
(12-14-2012, 09:00 AM)jess527 Wrote: There are: Make this the title, just put a space between it and the next line. often poets use the title as a first line, specially in short poems
Zero things that I can do
Twenty poems I wrote for you
Fifty songs I can't stand anymore
A hundred memories I don't wanna store
A thousand ways you make me weak
A million tears that stroll down my cheek this is the only cliche and it's not a really bad one because you used stroll.
Make that twenty-one poems I wrote for you
But still zero things that I can do. not sure this line adds anything, as the previous line implies your wasting your time.
(I think "zero things that I can do" sounds awkward but I don't know how else to word it so that it fits into the number scheme... and I'm beginning to realize I have a problem with sounding cliche...)
i think zero works okay you can tighten the poem up by removing a couple of words but i'll leave that up to you. unless you ask
good effort.
