Behind the Door

[Art Deco]

As prompterd by Todd's earlier challenge


Here I wait
to know my fate
behind this door of oak
Heavy hinges wrought of iron
a knocker brass; a snarling lion
How many stood, like me, before
this panelled, polished oaken door

One autumn past
an acorn cast
to start this door of oak
On fertile ground that seedling lay
to grow more sturdy day by day
That fragile shoot was destined for
this panelled, polished oaken door

Beside the lake
it grew to make
the timber for this door of oak
Ever reaching for the sky
as seasons of the year rolled by
An embryo from forest floor
this panelled, polished oaken door

Two centuries gone
now tall and strong
and destined for the door of oak
A woodcutter who knew its worth
would fell it down upon the earth
The flying axe it would endure
this panelled, polished oaken door

That handsome tree
hewn carefully
to make this door of oak
Now sunlight floods the barren floor
Where spread that mighty tree before
Felled with axe and trimmed with saw
this panelled, polished oaken door

Two horses came
to haul with chain
the timber for this door of oak
Dismember, trim and then discard
Forgotten in a timber yard
to season there until mature
this panelled, polished oaken door

Now heaved to sit
above the pit
the lumber for this door of oak
Two sawyers stiff and sorely wracked
A dozen boards soon neatly stacked
Then there remained one process for
this panelled, polished oaken door

So to the carpenter
sawn boards transfer
to craft this door of oak
The timber measured, planed and cut
each joint a firm and neat abut
A skilful task of love, not chore
this panelled, polished oaken door

“Come in”
invites the voice within
heard through this door of oak
All notions of its past creation
dispelled by looming revelation
Brief, sweet respite it did restore,
this panelled, polished oaken door.

[cidermaid]

Hi,
I've given some of my thoughts below.
I thought that you had used the title well and that the subject of telling the life story of the phisical door was a good choice.
Your poem has a simple story line which is actually quite refreshing, but when the subject is simple i feel that then the actual words need to be working harder, to give me a sense of delight in the orther arts of a poem. I felt that you did have some very nice images and lines in here (each stanza had some great images that were weakened by the narative aspect of the other lines). I felt that perhaps some work to replace some of the plainer statments with lines that will tickle the ears on recital out loud or stimulate the mind in the reading would be benificial. Maybe some of this could be achieved by the trimming of some of the filler words ("the & and in particular).

Perhaps (just a suggestion) a revisit the last line of each stanza. I'm not convinced about the whole repitition of this line and wondered how it might work if you just kept the final door and made the rest of each line differant (and spiced up the word use within this) and then kept just the first and last end lines the same ....or something like that....as ever just my musings and an idea for you to consider.
Overall a good poem that gave me a solid rooted feel so that I enjoyed the journey of thoughts

[Bizzy]

I loved the story and thought the 'panelled, polished oaken door' line scanned really well. The life story of the tree to door was a relaly good idea. I agree with previous comment that a slight change to the final line but keeping the cadence - would enhance it, speaking as one who also loves to repeat things!

[Art Deco]

Thank you Cidermaid and Bizzy for taking the trouble to comment and make suggestions.

My poem was really a challenge of structure to see if I could maintain the stanza format with meaningful new rhymes for "door" as well as telling a story.
It's really about a person anxiously awaiting (good or bad) news - Perhaps outside the boss's office or a doctor's surgery etc - To help alleviate the worry, thoughts are diverted to focus on the door itself and it's origins.

[Jae Mc Donnell]

Hello Art Deco. I'd like to start by saying great job on the poem and working with the brief.
I love this line
Heavy hinges wrought of iron
a knocker brass; a snarling lion. It's just great, love it
I also love the idea of what you where trying to do, but I feel we lose the connection between the first and last stanza and we forget about the person waiting. I feel this could be fixed by a new second stanza being put in, not instead of, but a long with the rest, to let us know it's a thought process. Or simply change the start of the second stanza to, my thoughts are drawn to acorn born. This will also set of the idea of a thought process. Then people won't mistake the poem for just a story about the life of the door.
These are of course just my thoughts and I hope you find them helpful.