Pocketful of Dragons

[Todd]

The girl from Kansas was a virgin,
who spun with silver steps
like flint casting sparks only
to die, a final note from a song.

Little Jackie Paper was not
a metaphor for imagination.
Boys do not live
forever, and Puff became less
than Smaug.

This road leads past a little field,
which is not a story--and is
a green heart, a gray artery traveling
by fiat in strange alchemy.
The world is lead under this hollow sky.

Their hoards were breath
that burns away dross,
growing smaller as we remember
tidy morals that can be folded away.
This stream no longer glitters.
Forgetting is a fire
that burns without light.




Title from a thread in Poetry Practise

Edit: cut Must I explain your stories: Twisted Angel
Made one change of my own changed smog to Smaug

[Leanne]

When I was little I used to cry because I thought Jackie Paper died... then when I found out he didn't die, just grew up and lost his dragon, it made me even sadder.

"The world is lead under this hollow sky" -- until the poets lighten it. Thanks for this one, Todd.

[Todd]

Thanks Leanne, the title helped me get started with this weird thing.

[TwistedAngel]

gotta say this is one of me favouritists poems on here so far by one of the many am begining to respect a lot

2 things tho 1 "Must I explain your stories?" am not exactly sure why but i didnt like that line..forgive me bad explanation but it kinda took me away from the poem for a moment

2 had to google the word 'fiat' i mite have found the wrong definition but is a chatholic word used to express "everything as god wills it"..i just thought it a strange word to use when the next line is of hollow skies

imo the last stanza is just beautifully written

(btw somone told me that dragons is more believable than virgins from kansas..tho am not sure wot he meant )

LOVED this write

[billy]

The girl from Kansas was a virgin,
who spun with silver steps
like flint casting sparks only
to die, a final note from a song. i loved that song when she sang it.

Little Jackie Paper was not
a metaphor for imagination.
Boys do not live
forever, and Puff became less did you miss an 's' ?
than smog. Must I explain your stories?

This road leads past a little field,
which is not a story--and is
a green heart, a gray artery traveling
by fiat in strange alchemy. this and the next line made me linger, liked fiat a lot
The world is lead under this hollow sky.

Their hoards were breath
that burns away dross,
growing smaller as we remember
tidy morals that can be folded away.
This stream no longer glitters.
Forgetting is a fire
that burns without light.




Title from a thread in Poetry Practise

i love it and the 's' thing is there for fun (take no notice of it)
lots to enjoy
. for me the end of the poem was the best, specially the last two lines. i feel them around me

[Todd]

Thank you for the great comments TA, very helpful.

gotta say this is one of me favouritists poems on here so far by one of the many am begining to respect a lot

2 things tho 1 "Must I explain your stories?" am not exactly sure why but i didnt like that line..forgive me bad explanation but it kinda took me away from the poem for a moment --I reread it today and I agree with you. I don't need that line it detracts. Thanks

2 had to google the word 'fiat' i mite have found the wrong definition but is a chatholic word used to express "everything as god wills it"..i just thought it a strange word to use when the next line is of hollow skies

--you found the right definition but it doesn't have to be god. It can be government or even by a person. It's the act of decreeing something to be.

imo the last stanza is just beautifully written

(btw somone told me that dragons is more believable than virgins from kansas..tho am not sure wot he meant )--that was hilarious

LOVED this write

Thank you again for the kind words and feedback. I'll do the edit now.

---

Thanks for the comments Billy.

The s was great

Much appreciated.

[Leanne]

Smaug is a stroke of genius (and not bad timing, since the movie's on its way!). I agree that the poem is stronger without that line, great suggestion and a good edit.

[Todd]

Thanks Leanne. I'm glad Smaug worked for you. Now, if I can only blend Ron Paul in I'll be complete. I appreciate you weighing in.

[billy]

the puff stanza is well enhanced with smaug, it sort of separates the men dragon from the boy dragon
it also looks better without the rest of the line so good edit.

[Todd]

Thanks Billy

[arbil_poieo]

It's funny the inspiration you can get just from a title.

This piece does stand-out to me with lines like "tidy morals that can be folded away" and the last two lines. It feels kinda sad to me like growing up and letting go of the imagination or at least the hunger for it.

This was truly beautiful.

[Todd]

Thank you Ash. I appreciate the kind comments.