White Man’s Burden
#1
The white man is born in fire,
That’s why he thinks of Heaven.
God is a cold kind of love

That doesn’t traffic in vicious cycles.
One man, in one progressive lifetime
That fans himself till death
With the breath of forgotten roles.

If some crazy stuff goes down,
That’s the fault of the planet.—
It’s gravity that questions itself.








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The white man is born in fire,
That’s why he thinks of Heaven.
God is a cold kind of love;

It doesn’t traffic in vicious cycles.
One man, in one progressive lifetime
That fans himself till death
With the breath of the forgotten roles

He steals.
Counting his money, he sings.

Some crazy stuff goes down
But that’s the planet’s fault.
It’s gravity, questions itself.
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#2
This is a difficult title to live up to giving Kipling's poem. It probably detracts too much from your content. Well to the content:

(11-26-2012, 03:31 AM)rowens Wrote:  The white man is born in fire,--I took this fire to mean passion and also limited in duration, as a fire consumes. I fail to see why this is limited to the white. You seem to be discussing Christians. So, maybe it's their burden.
That’s why he thinks of Heaven.--because he sees how finite life is.
God is a cold kind of love;--I like this line a lot, it's an interesting way to depict not only the type of love but the type of comfort derived from it.

It doesn’t traffic in vicious cycles.--nice reference to reincarnation
One man, in one progressive lifetime--progressive is a great word.
That fans himself till death
With the breath of the forgotten roles--I think you extend this out well. I like the fanning reference back to the heat. I don't think you need the

He steals.
Counting his money, he sings.--didn't follow your transition from this strophe. To the end.

Some crazy stuff goes down
But that’s the planet’s fault.
It’s gravity, questions itself.
Just some thoughts.
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson
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#3
the title sort of pre conditions me into looking for kipling (i live in the philippines which makes me look all the more for him in it)


after reading the poem i'm struggling to see 'the' burden. is it greed, or something else? i see a generic something in the poem but nothing that depicts a particular race
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#4
Kipling is Kipling. I know he has a poem called "White Man's Burden", but that's not what the poem's about. It is a generic something. The idea of White Christian Males in America seems to be a generic race idea to me. If you're not white in America, you're a minority. Really? Whites simply took Christianity and America, and other things, as generically as I took the title "White Man's Burden". Though I was thinking of the way it was said in "The Shining" movie. That tone.

I have three other versions of this. This one seemed the most finished.

After the line about counting money and singing, I had some quoted line from a blues song. I took it out to see how well it did without it. The last few lines are only saying that gravity creates the illusion of a burden. In a similar way as the "White man" in America is either felt to be a pure race (there's KKK around here leaving letters on my lawn), or the big bad bogey power; when really white people are just generic people when you lump them altogether. "Native Americans", "Blacks", and others often simply blame things on "white people". I attack the idea of "white people", both in the people that think they are white and therefore better, and those that scapegoat white people. Many "white people" I know scapegoat Mexicans; why? I guess they'll always find someone to scapegoat.

This is a poem I didn't feel satisfied with even before I started writing it. So I can see some of Todd's not following the end of it.
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#5
This is the third version I had, with one part taken out.
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