Lucifer's Bait

[heslopian]

Sing with me, angel, and dance,
dance across my rocky floors
as flames chew on your soles.
I've seen so many sluts and poofs
down here in these narrow caves,
rejected by their loving God
to dance their sad dances.
What daddy lets his kiddies burn?
Tell me, angel, please, tell me
as you pass that stone,
filled with screaming ghouls.

The villain never chooses, dear;
good is too tyrannical.
Set your hatred free, angel,
it's withered too long in its cage.
We'll skin the preachers and their flocks
while God writhes in his pram.

[billy]

i shall come back to this jack.
so far i enjoyed it and have no nits (though i only read it a couple of time with a quick eye . )

[heslopian]

Thanks Bilbo

[Todd]

Great last line Jack. I also loved "good is too tyrannical"

Very cool poem.

[heslopian]

Thanks for the kind feedback Todd

[billy]

Sing with me, angel, and dance,
dance across my rocky floors
as flames chew on your soles. i like the use of soles which makes me think of souls without having it mentioned.
I've seen so many sluts and poofs haven't we all this is a great line, though it could be a painful one for many
down here in these narrow caves,
rejected by their loving God
to dance their sad dances.
What daddy lets his kiddies burn?
Tell me, angel, please, tell me
as you pass that stone,
filled with screaming ghouls.

The villain never chooses, dear;
good is too tyrannical.
Set your hatred free, angel,
it's withered too long in its cage.
We'll skin the preachers and their flocks
while God writhes in his pram.

i'm back...the 1st stanza is really good. no nits and some good pictures. the last is okay, feels a little preachy but it works that way. the last line is very mocking and finishes the poem well.
thanks for a solid poem jacj.

if i had to have a nit it would be that set your hatred free feel too predictable

thanks for the read.

[heslopian]

Thanks for your kind feedback Bilbo "Set your hatred free" does feel a bit Star Wars

[addy]

Great poem Jack. I've seen a few of the ideas here articulated elsewhere (arguments of evil's merits good is trope, in some respects), but not with the same unnerving glee and verve you've injected here. Very, very effective.

[heslopian]

Thanks for the kind feedback, Addy