Fireflies

[Mr. Brown]

Love is patient.
Love is kind.
The perfect way,
To destroy your mind.

At first it's bright and warm,
like a million fireflies,
I lay now in the embers,
Everyone of them died.

I've never felt this way,
never thought I'd sing.
Not after that day you threw my grandma's ring.
You really did give that thing quite a sling.

But I freed my soul,
Set fire to our love,
I ended it quick,
I shot the dove.

I really must go,
It's been quite the trip.
I need thirteen stitches,
You busted my forehead and lip.

As soon as these come off me,
Doc cuts that last stitch,
The last you'll ever see of me,
A middle finger, mouthing the word bitch.

[heslopian]

Love is patient.
Love is kind.
The perfect way, Is this comma needed?
To destroy your mind.

At first it's bright and warm,
like a million fireflies,
I lay now in the embers,
Everyone of them died. "Every one"

I've never felt this way,
never thought I'd sing.
Not after that day you threw my grandma's ring.
You really did give that thing quite a sling. I like the last two lines of this verse. They use old images, but they're effective in context.

But I freed my soul,
Set fire to our love,
I ended it quick,
I shot the dove. I like this image.

I really must go,
It's been quite the trip.
I need thirteen stitches,
You busted my forehead and lip.

As soon as these come off me,
Doc cuts that last stitch,
The last you'll ever see of me,
A middle finger, mouthing the word bitch. Nice closer.

A mean and spiteful love poem which I enjoyed. Thanks for the read.

[cidermaid]

I enjoyed your poem. Really liked the switch and transition from warm & fluffy, lovey dovey... (loved that it got shot!)... into shooting from the hip.
Think Heslopian covered every I saw & a couple extra.
Well done thanks for the read.