Not so sweet

[Philatone]

Bakers never learn the fear
they stir in the batter.
Every weekday morning,

they threaten him with garbage cans,
egg shells tossed on butter wrappers;

throw his feet into the oven.
All that before the tasting,
whole families plunged

down into the darkness
of a kitchen's body bag.

Just last week, the Scones were buried,
requests for cremation silenced
with a twist of drawstrings, a knot,

a heavy march outside.
If all goes well,

a cake can expect a freezer,
walled in glass, to view
the very person who will pay

an arm to taste
in the comfort of home.

[billy]

it felt a little holocaustical at the beggining

it feels like it's trying to be satirical or funny but it's not quite getting there.
the images are good and i like the ending couple of stanza. but it needs to be straight forward, as easy to read as a slice of cake is to eat. i'd like to see it opened up as you've done on previous edits to previous poems.
i wouldn't change the format though as it reminds me of a renga (predecessor to the haiku, connective shot stanzas)

as always geoff, thanks for the read.

[Aish]

I need to consider this a bit, Geoff.
My first impression is of sinister layers.
Shall return.

[Aish]

There is an interesting personification, and to me it appears to hint at some greater depth of metaphor. The scones being buried (in the trash) versus cremated (baked) makes me consider the idea that at some level these ingredients want to be consumed, thereby a portion of the natural cycle, which is tyrannical if viewed outside of nature.
I think I probably read into that too much, though.

[Keith]

(First time feedback) You are what you eat, or is it what we eat is what we are, I thought it was heavey at first but then thought funny, I was hooked and read it all without skipping. I am left with great images of body parts in shopping bags. Thanks

[addy]

Agree with the other comments the clever sinister qualities. Like a cake in the oven it was rising well; I especially enjoyed the freezer part. Personally I think the ending made it deflate a bit. I was hoping for a final jab of macabre irony, but I thought "in the comfort of home" was a little soft, and didn't really add too much dimension. (Something about lighting them on fire at a party would've been entertaining, though I admit, way too obvious )

[Philatone]

thanks for the time guys; appreciate your interpretations. will take a look at the closing stanza and some of the phrasing