Loneliness

[kentucky-kid]

A lighthouse in the middle of the ocean
All the maidens would only go for glisten
I'm not a twinkle
But could you spare me a little cycle?

An island in the middle of nowhere
Any chance of a seeker are rare
The ocean pulls me under
The silence tears me asunder
To the cold palace I wander

A rose in the snow
Only me in the vast will glow
Withered through the autumn
Only to meet the winter
A feeling that will only get wider

A wall left unscribbled
A puzzle left riddled
A rope left hanging
A chair there standing

A columbarium of hope
Perched on top of this slope
I'm a step away from falling
The fibres on this rope are pulling

Why is my angel in concrete?
Why is her whisper so discrete?
Never graced by her presence
Can I afford more patience?

There is still desire and craving
A hope inside to get a little loving
To try and see through my own pretending
The same reasons I wrote these wordings....

[billy]

A lighthouse in the middle of the ocean
All the maidens would only go for glisten
I'm not a twinkle
But could you spare me a little cycle?

An island in the middle of nowhere
Any chance of a seeker are rare
The ocean pulls me under
The silence tears me asunder
To the cold palace I wander

A rose in the snow
Only me in the vast will glow
Withered through the autumn
Only to meet the winter
A feeling that will only get wider

A wall left unscribbled
A puzzle left riddled
A rope left hanging
A chair there standing

A columbarium of hope
Perched on top of this slope
I'm a step away from falling
The fibres on this rope are pulling

Why is my angel in concrete?
Why is her whisper so discrete?
Never graced by her presence
Can I afford more patience?

There is still desire and craving
A hope inside to get a little loving
To try and see through my own pretending
The same reasons I wrote these wordings....

my comment would be "a little long and not enough imagery."

try and show
try not to tell

write it in the modern idiom.

William Shakespeare did.

he'd have said. a chair there standing.
but that was the language of the day.
we would normally say; a chair standing there. or even ; a standing chair there.

good effort. imo i think it could lose over half it's length and still say more.

thanks for sharing it kk.