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Monsoon
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flying edit V2.
skies are black and blue gravity pulls on the clouds rain batters the earth Quote:original 
08-08-2012, 08:33 PM
i really like the first line, though unfortunately found it more riveting than your close. a nice piece though
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
08-09-2012, 11:27 AM
that you were partially riveted makes me blush
 thanks addy. did a bit of an edit. 
09-21-2012, 02:03 AM
skies are black and blue
gravity pulls on the clouds rain batters the earth This could much stronger if you put in stronger words and spice it up
09-21-2012, 11:57 AM
thanks for the feedback PS
09-22-2012, 02:12 AM
Enjoyable, Billy. I love the rain
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
09-24-2012, 04:27 PM
thanks for the comment aish
10-13-2012, 06:59 PM
V2 is deffo better than the original the word choice gives it a more powerful image IMO
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