Talkin' Blues
#1
I eat the meat that you defeat
With broken wads between my teeth:
Where ships set sail, toy boats through tongues,
--I’m a Frenchman with English lungs.

She snort her Absinthe through her pipe!
--That wily weaver, ancient snipe
Airplanes complaints of dire straits,
While she sort out synthetic aches!

“Oh no! not this again.---
You’re chewing on the words I sent?”
Or so she says, with eyes hell bent,
“I forgot.--You said, ’French hen’.”
Reply
#2
(09-06-2012, 05:12 AM)rowens Wrote:  I eat the meat that you defeat
With broken wads between my teeth:
Where ships set sail, toy boats through tongues,
--I’m a Frenchman with English lungs.

She snort her Absinthe through her pipe!
--That wily weaver, ancient snipe
Airplanes complaints of dire straits,
While she sort out synthetic aches!

“Oh no! not this again.---
You’re chewing on the words I sent?”
Or so she says, with eyes hell bent,
“I forgot.--You said, ’French hen’.”
I think it's "CARCINOGENIC" but that means that 6 down can't be "CUNEIFORM".

Aw, the hell with it.
Best,
tectakBig Grin
Reply
#3
it's snorts i think. and sorts

i have to say i couldn't get it. (yeah we had a chat and this time i got the stick Big Grin)
for some reason i feel like i'm being mocked Smile

thanks for the read
Reply
#4
"I feel like I'm being mocked..." Welcome to my self reference school of paranoia.--- And a fella's having a row with his French lover over dinner. Or maybe a naked lunch. If anyone's being mocked it's the French girl. Another one of my bitter ends.
Reply
#5
the last verse on reflection is quite scathing.
bitter ends or hens Sad
Reply
#6
There's plenty scathing blues songs, like:

"my milk cow been ramblin for miles around,
she been servin some other man's bullcow, in this strange man's town."
Reply
#7
Nice opening couple of lines and the middle verse is pleasingly quirky. As for the rest, well I guess you had to be there.
"I'm homme francais with English lungs" would sound nice but maybe that ruins the last line of the poem. I can't tell.
Oh no! not this again.--- - too short a line.

Ray
Before criticising a person, try walking a mile in their shoes. Then when you do criticise them, you're a mile away.....and you have their shoes.
Reply
#8
I don't like the poem because rhyme and even accidental rhythm give me a headache. I'm obsessive that way. Even good songs have that effect on me, I listen to them again and again for the satisfaction I feel when it finally stops.
Reply




Users browsing this thread:
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!