Emilia's Rondeau
#1
from "The Devyls Wake" - a play I am still writing... some of the info here is expository.

I scan the sea’s complexion for a sign
Of ivory sail and hull of purest pine
Oh, mother would collapse if she should know
A mariner and soldier were by beau
A pretty torment thus did I design

Iago, you should see the endless line
Of gilded, foppish, would-be royal swine
Their brackish manners make your mem’ry glow
I scan the sea.

With Desdemona fair they would combine
Her father’s choice, a lad without a spine.
Remember? Brainless Signor Roderigo?
Though she is sad the Moor saw fit to go.
Our hearts and eyes both trace that endless line
We scan the sea.
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#2
excellent, foppishly excellent.
the first line is even more than excellent. i always thought an expository was something one stuck up one's bottom Hysterical the Devyls wake, is also an excellent title for a play, this isn't feedback by the way, i'm just fawning Smile
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#3
That first line was indeed a fantastic opener, the longing palpable. nicely done.
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
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