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.
I say you are the Sun,
you say I am the Annulus,
and you care nothing for my ring.
I wonder if it was purposeful
that you chose planetaries'
which cause us to always be going
in opposite directions,
or is that just how it works?
©2012 –Erthona
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
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(07-14-2012, 07:17 PM)Erthona Wrote: .
I say you are the Sun,
you say I am the Annulus,
and you care nothing for my ring.
I wonder if it was purposeful
that you chose planetaries'
which cause us to always be going
in opposite directions,
or is that just how it works?
©2012 –Erthona
When Anne, my wife, is mad at me she callsme THOMAS, as of the old house keeper, Tom and Gerry. THOMAS!!! Were IS d'at cat?
Not unnaturally, I call her vice-versa,.....Annus.
Hmmmmm. I am sutably differential.
Best,
tectak
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Oh, how sad... still, picking your ring is a serious business, you can't rush these things.
It could be worse
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a little ring at that 
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A big cheer for the Planetary Gear!
Oh what a wicket web we weave!
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Thanks for your comments, I know this poem takes a lot of cognition to appreciate. :p
dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
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i ponder it still 
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(07-14-2012, 07:17 PM)Erthona Wrote: .
I say you are the Sun,
you say I am the Annulus,
and you care nothing for my ring.
I wonder if it was purposeful
that you chose planetaries'
which cause us to always be going
in opposite directions,
or is that just how it works?
©2012 –Erthona
Considering annulus means a ring shaped object, structure or region, followed by the next line ending with ring, that is slightly redundant. As for the planets and the sun, it's not really the opposite direction since the solar system is heliocentric, meaning the sun is the center and the other planets just orbit around it. Not really going the opposite way, granted the orbits aren't a perfect circle and are more elliptical, they still don't go in opposite directions per se. But then again, these are more factual reasons, I'm sure you have more depth behind that, relating to something much more personal.
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Not to be taken literally, it is a metaphor based on planetary gearing, and is basically fraught with numerous double entendre. It is suppose to be funny.
"planetary gearing is a gear system consisting of one or more outer gears, or planet gears, revolving about a central, or sun gear. Typically, the planet gears are mounted on a movable arm or carrier which itself may rotate relative to the sun gear. Epicyclic gearing systems also incorporate the use of an outer ring gear or annulus, which meshes with the planet gears."
I say you are the Sun, (you are the center of my world, I am in love with you)
you say I am the Annulus, (play on word, you say that I am as ass/asshole)
and you care nothing for my ring. (wedding ring, proposal)
I wonder if it was purposeful
that you chose planetaries' ( group of friends, topics of interest, etc.)
which cause us to always be going
in opposite directions,
or is that just how it works?
Hope that clears it up, or at least meshes well 
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
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09-23-2013, 12:55 PM
(This post was last modified: 09-23-2013, 12:56 PM by billy.)
(09-23-2013, 09:49 AM)Malu Wrote: Considering annulus means a ring shaped object, structure or region, followed by the next line ending with ring, that is slightly redundant. As for the planets and the sun, it's not really the opposite direction since the solar system is heliocentric, meaning the sun is the center and the other planets just orbit around it. Not really going the opposite way, granted the orbits aren't a perfect circle and are more elliptical, they still don't go in opposite directions per se. But then again, these are more factual reasons, I'm sure you have more depth behind that, relating to something much more personal.
annulus means a ring shaped object (with a large amount of pucker :J:
we don't look too deeply into poetry in the for fun forum or else we may lose our heads up our annulus'
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Quite right!
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
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I won't lie, I didn't get this at first - after your explanation, though, I can see how neatly it all fits together - great stuff! I'm still as big a greenhorn as it gets at this whole thing, but poems like this are both comforting and a little intimidating. Very well thought out, though!
"Certain things they should stay the way they are. You ought to be able to stick them in one of those big glass cases and just leave them be." ~Holden Caulfield
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Ok I got the first line and the wedding proposal, not so much the annulus play on words. So I was right, you do have more depth, I knew it couldn't have been that factual. And I am in absolutely no position to point out cliches, but her being the sun, the center of your world/universe is not very creative, original or new. But then again, it ties perfectly into the theme of this poem, so I see why it is acceptable, however I think you could find something more personal that better symbolizes your love. In fact, I'm sure you could, but for the context of this poem I see no need change that. Thanks for the clarification and good read 
(09-23-2013, 12:55 PM)billy Wrote: (09-23-2013, 09:49 AM)Malu Wrote: Considering annulus means a ring shaped object, structure or region, followed by the next line ending with ring, that is slightly redundant. As for the planets and the sun, it's not really the opposite direction since the solar system is heliocentric, meaning the sun is the center and the other planets just orbit around it. Not really going the opposite way, granted the orbits aren't a perfect circle and are more elliptical, they still don't go in opposite directions per se. But then again, these are more factual reasons, I'm sure you have more depth behind that, relating to something much more personal.
annulus means a ring shaped object (with a large amount of pucker :J:
we don't look too deeply into poetry in the for fun forum or else we may lose our heads up our annulus'
You're right we don't in the poetry for fun, that is why I said "But then again, these are more factual reasons, I'm sure you have more depth behind that, relating to something much more personal." I just wanted to shed new light on the matter, in hopes of possibly improving the poem, if the poet sees fit. Just my two cents, but thanks the reminder
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Your problem lies in too much play
re-bush the suns annulus
apply a light lubricant
and a good screw
driver from a watchmaker
that should take out a little tension
and maybe fix the opposed rotation.
Joking apart this poem is very entertaining and thoughtfully crafted. Best Keith
If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out
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Keith,
From what you wrote it seems
the problem lies in too little play,
'tis grease, that makes the world go round,
that is if you orbit that a way.
Thanks for your comments,
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
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