No Regrets

[vedantsetu]

In death there is pain,
craving for life, what was the gain?
Parabolic hapiness in destruction
Of evil am the instrumentation

reaped the fruits of satisfaction
with a lot of useless and disturbing imagination
Migration to lies and conceit
mine is nothing but a forfeit

Congruence to hell, have lived in disdain
yet the pain is way more than just a sprain
Into the depths are scattered numerous meteors
burnt into rubbles the past irregular crators

Imaginariums of nothing but shadows of hollows skeletons
Futile Battles of notional glory of the Spartans
Engraved in genes are these destructive patterns
If its fore written, wasteful to ponder with concern

[Philatone]

hey vedant

to begin, I would say watch your spelling and grammar (e.g., verb tenses, subject-verb agreement).

I like the offrhymes, they help the poem a lot. that being said, i think some enjambment on the couplets you have going on could work wonders; as is, the flow can be a bit jumpy with irregular line breaks and everything is end stopped, what with the grammatical sentences ending where the lines end.

there are a lot of images to work with; perhaps having more of a focus could help guide the reader more (as is, we can jump from "fruits" to "hell" to "sprain" to "meteors", etc.)

just some thoughts to get started

[billy]

it has some good words in there but overall i think it's try to be too much, too poetic.
too profound.

some lines are almost excellent;
Imaginariums of nothing but shadows of hollows skeletons

but overdo the wordiness

Imaginariums of shadows and hollows skeletons

there are more sentences that if trimmed down would add a lot more than they are doing at present.