Dear Satan: A Comedy

[Indie]

Dear Satan, can you send me a legion
It would really help to exact my revenge
And you know I’ve been on your side
For a very long time

It’s not like I’m asking for a pony
Though I did notice that if you
Rearrange the letters in your name
It spells Santa

Though Santa is no good to me now
He won’t make the bad men pay
And I know how much you like
Those wonderfully bad people

I know I was never destined for heaven
Mr Devil, so I figure there is no harm
In asking for a favour before
I get to share your summer holiday house

My skin blisters nicely in the heat
You’ll be happy to know
And I like the blonde highlights in my hair
I hope you’ll let me keep them

Those bad men, Mr Satan sir
I really do have to make them pay
For putting their hands
In places they shouldn’t

I told them not to do it
I told them I’d be mad
And tell Mummy and Daddy
Though they just laughed

It’s my cookie jar, dammit!
Is it okay if I say bad words
In this letter to you? I guess so
Since you’re meant to be bad

Daddy says you’re the baddest
So if you could send me a legion
To make my uncles choke on my cookies
Next time they eat them
It would be much appreciated

Love… Me (Age: 10)

[billy]

well worth a giggle, i shall now endeavour to diet

[Wildcard]

Nice one!

[tectak]

Dear Satan, can you send me a legion
It would really help to exact my revenge
And you know I’ve been on your side
For a very long time

It’s not like I’m asking for a pony
Though I did notice that if you
Rearrange the letters in your name
It spells Santa

Though Santa is no good to me now
He won’t make the bad men pay
And I know how much you like
Those wonderfully bad people

I know I was never destined for heaven
Mr Devil, so I figure there is no harm
In asking for a favour before
I get to share your summer holiday house

My skin blisters nicely in the heat
You’ll be happy to know
And I like the blonde highlights in my hair
I hope you’ll let me keep them

Those bad men, Mr Satan sir
I really do have to make them pay
For putting their hands
In places they shouldn’t

I told them not to do it
I told them I’d be mad
And tell Mummy and Daddy
Though they just laughed

It’s my cookie jar, dammit!
Is it okay if I say bad words
In this letter to you? I guess so
you’re meant to be bad

Daddy says you’re the baddest
So if you could send me a legion
To make my uncles choke on my cookies
Next time they eat them
It would be much appreciated

Love… Me (Age: 10)

Look, I really like this! It is refreshingly different. Only one problem, do you want crit as though really written by a 10 year old....or as written by you writing as a 10 year old
Best,
Get back,
Tectak

[Indie]

Thank you Billy and Mark.
Tectak, this one is just for fun, I'm not after any kind of critique. Though thank you for offering.

Ind

[billy]

you would do well in the pig's arse

[Touchstone]

I loved it.

[Indie]

you would do well in the pig's arse

Lol, thank you Billy.
I've had a peek at the Pig's Arse, it's quite a

---

Thank you Touchstone

[addy]

"Dear Satan, can you send me a legion
It would really help to exact my revenge"

I'll be tempted to quote this any chance I get

[Indie]

"Dear Satan, can you send me a legion
It would really help to exact my revenge"

I'll be tempted to quote this any chance I get

nice, I'm more than happy to inspire a little mayhem

[tectak]

Thank you Billy and Mark.
Tectak, this one is just for fun, I'm not after any kind of critique. Though thank you for offering.

Ind

The crit would be for fun,too. Still not interested?
Best,
Tectak

[Indie]

The crit would be for fun,too. Still not interested?
Best,
Tectak

Still not interested