Babe
#1
well here’s the truth of how it was
when i arrived out here.
with just eight teats to latch on
i was always at the rear.
there was four brothers
and four sisters well!
with eight feeding came a fight
so the gauge was reading empty
and i'd hardly got a bite

a “runt” the big man called me
as they took me to the fair
too be raffled off to anyone,
and to whom they didn’t care.
so in a box i cowered
while the people came to look
to guess my weight and wonder
andwrite it all down in a book.

this one bloke, he picked me up
then looked me in the eye
said “no good’ll come of guessing”
for i haven’t got a sty.
but all the same he had a go
(i thought it was a hoot)
for just as he was saying it
i piddled on his boot,

ok!
i could go on and make this long
but there really is no time
come see me at the movies
i'm lard-fat and pink and prime
babe ten will be out shortly yes
and i couldn't give a fig
i'm the babe: the famous starlit
the one and only poetic pig.
Perfection changes with the light and light goes on for infinity ~~~Bronte

Reply
#2
I loved that movie... but it did nothing to put me off eating bacon Big Grin. I'm going to just run over your narrative for meter, because I think the content is fine, logical and with a great tone. Besides, we tend not to critique in "for fun" but I know you love it when things get all nitty gritty...

(03-18-2012, 12:08 PM)Bronte Wrote:  well here’s the truth of how it was
when i arrived out here.
with just eight teats to latch on, i
was always at the rear
four brothers and four sisters, well!
our feed times were a fight
so the gauge was reading empty
and i'd hardly had a bite

a “runt” the big man called me
as they took me to the fair
too be raffled off to anyone,
-- to whom, they didn't care
so in a box i cowered
while the people came to look
to guess my weight and wonder
and to write it in a book.

this one bloke picked me up and then
he looked me in the eye
said “no good’ll come of guessing,
for i haven’t got a sty."
but all the same he had a go
(i thought it was a hoot)
for just as he was saying it
i piddled on his boot,

ok!
i could go on and make this long
but really there's no time
come see me at the movies
i'm lardy, pink and prime
babe ten will be out shortly yes
and i couldn't give a fig
i'm babe: the famous starlit
the one and only poetic pig.
It could be worse
Reply
#3
(03-18-2012, 12:53 PM)Leanne Wrote:  I loved that movie... but it did nothing to put me off eating bacon Big Grin. I'm going to just run over your narrative for meter, because I think the content is fine, logical and with a great tone. Besides, we tend not to critique in "for fun" but I know you love it when things get all nitty gritty...

(03-18-2012, 12:08 PM)Bronte Wrote:  well here’s the truth of how it was
when i arrived out here.
with just eight teats to latch on, i
was always at the rear
four brothers and four sisters, well!
our feed times were a fight
so the gauge was reading empty
and i'd hardly had a bite

a “runt” the big man called me
as they took me to the fair
too be raffled off to anyone,
-- to whom, they didn't care
so in a box i cowered
while the people came to look
to guess my weight and wonder
and to write it in a book.

this one bloke picked me up and then
he looked me in the eye
said “no good’ll come of guessing,
for i haven’t got a sty."
but all the same he had a go
(i thought it was a hoot)
for just as he was saying it
i piddled on his boot,

ok!
i could go on and make this long
but really there's no time
come see me at the movies
i'm lardy, pink and prime
babe ten will be out shortly yes
and i couldn't give a fig
i'm babe: the famous starlit
the one and only poetic pig.

Big Grin you are evil , have at it, the pig can take it because she eats everything
Perfection changes with the light and light goes on for infinity ~~~Bronte

Reply
#4
happy to oblige, ma'am... pigs also shit everywhere, thank god we've got a pen for them here
It could be worse
Reply
#5
and a large hose I hope lol
Perfection changes with the light and light goes on for infinity ~~~Bronte

Reply
#6
oh yes, but please don't ask srijantje about the hose, the answer will be impolite
It could be worse
Reply
#7
is it a green hose do you think!
Perfection changes with the light and light goes on for infinity ~~~Bronte

Reply
#8
It depends on the company.
It could be worse
Reply
#9
I like BIG MAC
Perfection changes with the light and light goes on for infinity ~~~Bronte

Reply
#10
is that with fries?

great to see you posting poetry babe Hysterical
Reply
#11
Makes me hungry!
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?

The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
Reply
#12
and Coleridge would lap it up
and change your words to make more art
or hers, if Bronte got there first.

(03-19-2012, 08:43 AM)billy Wrote:  is that with fries?

great to see you posting poetry babe Hysterical



Ha! he called it poetry Big Grin

Perfection changes with the light and light goes on for infinity ~~~Bronte

Reply
#13
(03-19-2012, 11:00 AM)Bronte Wrote:  Ha! he called it poetry Big Grin
Forgive him, he knows not what he does Big Grin
It could be worse
Reply
#14
(03-19-2012, 01:14 PM)Leanne Wrote:  
(03-19-2012, 11:00 AM)Bronte Wrote:  Ha! he called it poetry Big Grin

Forgive him, he knows not what he does Big Grin

can we keep him? pleasss!>Big Grin<
Perfection changes with the light and light goes on for infinity ~~~Bronte

Reply
#15
"Poetic pig"? Sounds like our forum Smile
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
Reply
#16
i do prefer to be kept Blush
Reply
#17
(03-21-2012, 11:35 AM)billy Wrote:  i do prefer to be kept Blush


HA!
there is no quip that can steal the light from that statement billy

Perfection changes with the light and light goes on for infinity ~~~Bronte

Reply




Users browsing this thread:
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!