Logos by Todd
#1
Logos

The flavor you are trying to describe 

is found in the seeds of the pomegranate,
mixed with moonlight and tears. You will never 

forget this taste. I pity you,

everything will be less 

vibrant now.

If you had asked: How are we alike?
The stars would still be your blanket, 

the garden still soft beneath your feet. 



No, I would not have said love—that is not
the image you bear. The sword still spins
to protect this creation from your harsh love.
A love that would crush the Jay in its hands
The blood sings from the ground to Me— 

not for vengeance—but in awe. 



Does that give you a clue?

What was light
before I said it?
You too are a Namer. I would not
take that from you though
your tongue has turned black. 

You do more than define,

the thought gives birth to the word;
the word precedes the act. 

What was murder before you said it? 

You have continued to name 



Deceit, Fear, Shame

Each word conceives and confines.
You lack patience, and will not hear me.

My words will no longer thrive 

with your limited vocabulary.
I leave you one word behind 



Hope 



At the proper time you must scream it 

to the hills and look up.
You will find Me waiting there,
I never left. 

For I too am a Namer, 

and I AM patient.



See the original thread and the workshopping process here
It could be worse
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#2
so many images here that I would never arrive at myself, as well as modes of expression that seem so casual, yet carry such weight for the piece. it's wonderful
Written only for you to consider.
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#3
i remember this one,
and that 1st stanza still reads as good as it did the first time Smile
good choice
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#4
Todd is awesome. There, I said it. You people are dancing around the issue- it's not just this one poem: the dude rocks; and he know how to use punctuation - (correctly) Big Grin

Great poem . . . way out of my league. Nice job, Todd.
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#5
I still love the opulent fabric of this one. Excellent, Todd. You rock!
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
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#6
This is gorgeously expressed. It flows like wine or music, or wine over music (image a piano soaking in Merlot haha). Thanks for the read, Todd.
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe
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#7
Nice plea, Todd! Your poetry comes off believable, uncontrived and not melodramatic. Loved the metaphor work, the structure herein, everything!
My new watercolor: 'Nightmare After Christmas'/Chris
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#8
Thank you Chris. Much Appreciated

Oh thank you to the rest of you too. Sorry for not responding sooner.
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson
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#9
This dredges out long suppressed guilt and makes me miss times when I have been kinder to myself. It makes me realize I need water and sunlight. Nourishing in a way that enables me to make a clear distinction between things that I am and things I want to be. The words themselves are not extraordinary but the way they are used is. Thank you, Todd.
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#10
Hi Tempest, glad you liked the poem. Thank you for your kind comments.
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson
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#11
Anytime. I just wanted to say this has been a really inspiring piece. Considering taking a lot of the frills out of some of my work and getting down to the essence.
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#12
"The flavor you are trying to describe 

is found in the seeds of the pomegranate,
mixed with moonlight and tears. You will never 

forget this taste. I pity you,

everything will be less 

vibrant now."

Sweet Jesus, that is one of the best bits I've ever read, anywhere. It is fuckin' fantastic! I mean, a bottle of cheap beer and a 'how do you do', and me and these lines might make it serious.

Absolutely stunning job, Todd
If I could say only one thing before I die, it'd probably be,
"Please don't kill me"
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#13
Ha...Thanks Brendan.
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson
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