Last words

[Loveblind]

Excuse me, I made a mistake with the titles with this poem and the previous one I posted. This one was post to be named Last words. However, I got confused. Anyway......

Thanks for everything
we had but it's time
to lit the memories with
fire and watch
it fade away

see it didn't have to
be this way but
sometimes pride
gets the best of us
and destroys good
things

that were once unbreakable
or at least I thought
and even though some nights
the situation attacks my mind
I haven't let it hurt me physically

[addy]

Ah, I see! Sorry, ignore my comment on your other poem about the title, then

I quite liked this one. The first stanza, especially, really caught me. Wonderful image.

Thanks for everything
we had but it's time
to lit "light" the memories with
fire and watch
it"them" since it's many memories fade away

see it didn't have to
be this way but
sometimes pride
gets the best of us
and destroys good
things

is there a reason you broke the thought here..."

that were once unbreakable
or at least I thought and not here?
and even though some nights
the situation attacks my mind Personally I'd pick other synonyms for "situation" and "attacks", but then again the word choice might just be a taste thing
I haven't let it hurt me physically [i][b]It would be better to end this with a more potent line, maybe an image? "I let the pain burn to leave only calm ash"... something like that, but write it better

Good job

[billy]

i enjoyed the first verse.

i think if you can keep that style into the next two stanza you'll have a good poem Lb

in the last two verses try not to tell us about anything, show it to us.

i do think you're improving in style
thanks for the read.