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A sequel to < about those bats > :
< scorpions >
This bio-engineering company I work for is
developing scorpions that will be capable of
both producing and delivering an AIDS vaccine.
Scorpions, the business plan states, are a lot
cheaper than doctors or drug companies and can
reproduce themselves right where they're needed
requiring only unskilled labor. ( A similar
approach using mosquitoes to inoculate humans
against malaria is also in the works.) The
company has gotten as far as breeding venom-less
scorpions to use as a control base. This product
alone has proved surprisingly profitable in both
the pet and scientific markets. So here I am
spending forty hours a week raising scorpions
and some idiot leaves a cover ajar and I'm trying
to slide it back on. They love skin, it's a
combination of the warmth and the salt. I don't
want to hurt them, I just want them back in their
terrarium but every time I get one back some more
jump onto my arm and start crawling up it and I
think that someday I'm going to get used to this
and it won't be so bad and I'll have bragging rights
since I'll be one of the few people around who can
let fifty scorpions crawl all over them while sipping
a coke and wearing a big grin but I'm not there yet
I'm still back here with my boss yelling at me,
trying to get me to answer, but if I open my mouth...
- - -
a brightly colored fungus that grows in bark inclusions
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I wonder what kind of unskilled labour is required to assist in scorpion reproduction -- a man with some nice warm forceps and a tiny little specimen jar?
It could be worse
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.
"forceps", "specimen jar"
Jeez, now you're giving ME the creeps...
a brightly colored fungus that grows in bark inclusions
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That must be hard to do those tiny motions! I bet they don't call hookers unskilled labor...wait, I guess they do. I bet you don't get paid as much as a hooker either! The injustice. Wait! Can you get busted by the vice squad. "Man caught masturbating multiple scorpions, caught in a sting operation!" Do you have to put little bitty labels on the tiny little specimen jar?
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
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how do you load em up with the aids vaccine? why not just inject it into the person
i like the idea of venomous things being non venomous. snakes without venom would be great
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.
"how do you load em up with the aids vaccine?"
The scorpions are genetically engineered to make it internally.
"why not just inject it into the person?"
Direct quote from poem (ha, caught you, you're just phoning this in!):
"Scorpions, the business plan states, are a lot
cheaper than doctors or drug companies and can
reproduce themselves right where they're needed
requiring only unskilled labor."
"snakes without venom would be great"
One word: 'Python'
P.S.
Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm?
A: Getting raped by a giant scorpion.
---------------------
A scorpion sitting on the East Bank of the Jordan River asks a frog to carry him across.
“What if you sting me?,” the frog demurs. “Why would I do that?,” counters the scorpion.
“Then we’d both drown.”
The frog is persuaded and takes the scorpion on his back. Midway across the river
the scorpion stings the frog. “Why did you do that? Now we’ll both die!,” protests the frog.
“This is the Middle East,” the scorpion replies.
a brightly colored fungus that grows in bark inclusions
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"The frog is persuaded and takes the scorpion on his back. Midway across the river
the scorpion stings the frog. “Why did you do that? Now we’ll both die!,” protests the frog.
“This is the Middle East,” the scorpion replies."
I've heard that or variations of it before, but it still makes me laugh.
How do you put a giraffe into the refrigerator?
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
Posts: 5,057
Threads: 1,075
Joined: Dec 2009
01-11-2012, 11:00 PM
(This post was last modified: 01-11-2012, 11:03 PM by billy.)
(01-11-2012, 08:24 PM)rayheinrich Wrote: .
"how do you load em up with the aids vaccine?"
The scorpions are genetically engineered to make it internally.
"why not just inject it into the person?"
Direct quote from poem (ha, caught you, you're just phoning this in!):
"Scorpions, the business plan states, are a lot
cheaper than doctors or drug companies and can
reproduce themselves right where they're needed
requiring only unskilled labor."
"snakes without venom would be great"
One word: 'Python'
P.S.
Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm?
A: Getting raped by a giant scorpion.
---------------------
A scorpion sitting on the East Bank of the Jordan River asks a frog to carry him across.
“What if you sting me?,” the frog demurs. “Why would I do that?,” counters the scorpion.
“Then we’d both drown.”
The frog is persuaded and takes the scorpion on his back. Midway across the river
the scorpion stings the frog. “Why did you do that? Now we’ll both die!,” protests the frog.
“This is the Middle East,” the scorpion replies.
snakes that are venomous would be great without venom (pythons crush the crap out of things. here's a fing. what happens if one injects the aids fingy into a person who hasn't got it. say some silly bugger leaves the lid off to long and they all piss off
a) what's worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion?
b) the wait
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...Tom?
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
