The Cycle

[heslopian]

The father cries his grievances
in self-important tones,
whining, retching the absurdities
like Indian food after a late night.

Above your crib the light
pours through, anoints your face
with blue oils. Another day is here.
New addition to this tribe the boar,

and painted whore
he calls his own, will sanitise your love
with hate. There can be no bargaining.
Training you to follow meek

through the world their parents made, seek
a hole to crawl into,
bring your own unwitting pups,
a contract is already signed.

Therefore lined
like a pattern of stars, divined by some
foolish gazer, each humiliation waits,
until you can cry your own grievances.

[addy]

An emotionally chilling piece Jack. I like your choice of making the imagery symbolic and almost dreamy, giving the cycle a primeval ritualistic feel (that second strophe is particularly gorgeous). My only thought, perhaps the last line in the first strophe is a little out of place? Otherwise, I think its quite spot-on.

[Wildcard]

I'm new to reading and understanding poetry, but I feel fairly confident that I get this. It is so powerful and makes me think of my own family. I loved so many of the phrases:

retching the absurdities
...
pours through, anoints your face
with blue oils
...
a hole to crawl into,
bring your own unwitting pups

All perfect IMO
This is a great poem, sir.

[billy]

The father cries his grievances
in self-important tones,
whining, retching the absurdities is 'the' needed?
like Indian food after a late night.

Above your crib the light
pours through, anoints your face
with blue oils. Another day is here.
New addition to this tribe the boar,

and painted whore
he calls his own, will sanitise your love
with hate. There can be no bargaining. is 'there can be' needed
Training you to follow meek

through the world their parents made, seek would seek be better on the next line?
a hole to crawl into,
bring your own unwitting pups, great line
a contract is already signed.

Therefore lined is 'therefore' needed
like a pattern of stars, divined by some
foolish gazer, each humiliation waits,
until you can cry your own grievances.

nicely written jack, i wondered if a few words could go without loss, i suggested a few. the title speaks the content of the poem and the content carries the title. thanks for the read

[heslopian]

Thanks for the feedback Bilbo