The Lecturer's Tale

[abu nuwas]

'What did you do in the riots, Dad?'

'I'm not mad --I stayed home
and looked after Mum;
Just like all the rest'

'What did you do in the riots, Bruv?'

I was engaged in a beautiful
thing with Kates, Up West
An other-worldly act of love'

'What did you do that week, Sonny?'

' I was-- I was -- on a sleep-over;
Yes -with one of my mates,
Everything was quiet. Funny; but -

Speaker, what did you do ?'

'Me, I gave the Capitalist bastards a bloody nose!
And what is more, to serve the buggers right,
I nicked a few of those!'

[billy]

'What did you do in the riots, Dad?'

'I'm not mad --I stayed home
and looked after Mum;
Just like all the rest'

'What did you do in the riots, Bruv?'

I was engaged in a beautiful
and wonderful thing with Kates;
An other-worldly act of love'

'What did you do that week, Sonny?'

' I was-- I was -- on a sleep-over;
Yes -with one of my mates,
Everything was quiet. But -

Speaker, what did you do ?'

'Me, I gave the Capitalist bastards a bloody nose!
And what is more, to serve the buggers right,
I nicked a few of those!'

hi abu, great to see your poem.
1st off, i think this is good enough for the mild critique forum at the very least.

i like the way the poem turns on the speaker in the line before the last verse. it give what will become a common subject a great twist.
and i like the way he/she isn't just unbiased. it also fits in with the title but jars a little as to all but the last verse being about the family.
the pom proper has a sit-com feel about it which makes it feel funnier than it perhaps should. it's the main reason i like it.

did you mean keats in the following line;
and wonderful thing with Kates;

[abu nuwas]

Billy --I appreciate your taking the trouble to comment on this piece of nonsense. Dragging the speaker in was deliberate, as the riots have shown that no-one can be assumed not to have participated, a Social Worker for example pleaded guilty to some very greedy looting.

As for 'Kates', I just took my grand-daughter's name (Katie); her father always uses this variant-- it may be an Irish-ism, or just him. Then when 'mates' turned up as a rhyme, I was a bit annoyed, as it looked so much like a forced rhyme! At least you spared me that -- but of course, it still does look forced.

[billy]

i never noticed it as a rhyme scheme so it didn't and doesn't feel forced to me.
i had special names for my kids. in those instances i think we should ask ourselves; "will the reader get it" jmo,
hope to see more of your poetry.

[abu nuwas]

hope to see more of your poetry.

Be careful of that for which you wish!

[addy]

'What did you do in the riots, Dad?'

'I'm not mad --I stayed home
and looked after Mum;
Just like all the rest'

'What did you do in the riots, Bruv?'

I was engaged in a beautiful
thing with Kates, Up West
An other-worldly act of love'

'What did you do that week, Sonny?'

' I was-- I was -- on a sleep-over;
Yes -with one of my mates,
Everything was quiet. Funny; but -

Speaker, what did you do ?'

'Me, I gave the Capitalist bastards a bloody nose!
And what is more, to serve the buggers right,
I nicked a few of those!'

This was very clever, read like a sketch in a play with character studies that are sweet and hilarious plus a great twist at the end. If I had a nit (a very minor one), I would've wanted to know what that "thing" was with Kates

[abu nuwas]

This was very clever, read like a sketch in a play with character studies that are sweet and hilarious plus a great twist at the end. If I had a nit (a very minor one), I would've wanted to know what that "thing" was with Kates

Thank you. The thing is the subject of another 10 volumes of verse, available direct from me, at the bargain price of £40-00 per volume, with 0.125 % discount for orders received within the next 2 hours! (plus £5-00 p&p)

[Leanne]

'What did you do in the riots, Dad?'

'I'm not mad --I stayed home
and looked after Mum;
Just like all the rest'

'What did you do in the riots, Bruv?'

I was engaged in a beautiful
thing with Kates, Up West
An other-worldly act of love'

'What did you do that week, Sonny?'

' I was-- I was -- on a sleep-over;
Yes -with one of my mates,
Everything was quiet. Funny; but -

Speaker, what did you do ?'

'Me, I gave the Capitalist bastards a bloody nose!
And what is more, to serve the buggers right,
I nicked a few of those!'

This is quite an appropriate update of Chaucer's Canterbury Tales, given the direction culture seems to have gone during recent events. I very much like the way the Speaker is drawn directly into the conclusion, and in contrast to Sonny, quite unashamedly announces his involvement (and uses that wonderfully cliched reason for it as well -- Capitalist bastards! Nothing materialistic about grabbing a 42 inch telly...)

[addy]

This was very clever, read like a sketch in a play with character studies that are sweet and hilarious plus a great twist at the end. If I had a nit (a very minor one), I would've wanted to know what that "thing" was with Kates

Thank you. The thing is the subject of another 10 volumes of verse, available direct from me, at the bargain price of £40-00 per volume, with 0.125 % discount for orders received within the next 2 hours! (plus £5-00 p&p)

Highway robbery!

Ah well, at least we got a great poem for free

[abu nuwas]

This is quite an appropriate update of Chaucer's Canterbury Tales, given the direction culture seems to have gone during recent events. I very much like the way the Speaker is drawn directly into the conclusion, and in contrast to Sonny, quite unashamedly announces his involvement (and uses that wonderfully cliched reason for it as well -- Capitalist bastards! Nothing materialistic about grabbing a 42 inch telly...)

When I am not climbing up the wall with fury, I find there is infinite pathos in people's actions: the shabby little shops they dreamt of getting stuff from, and the cheap and vain articles they pinched.

I was rather lazy with this -- the old pitfall of having the grain of an idea, and then rushing to print!