Ngalyod Refracted

[Leanne]

Long time past and yesterday
the sparrows brushed the sky away
with browning wings. The summer arch
collapsed upon the bloody soil,
and old ones dug in deep.

The billabong has rippled long
beneath your limbs, red father.
You were young and slender
when they walked
hide-sheltered feet deaf
across her back.

I am new, old one
and white as ghost gum dreaming.
Sorry-specked and sunburnt,
one foot ochre yearning,
one far cloud seeking.

Long time come, you
thunder to me
and rain-washed parrots build
you with their wings.
Blood, soil, summer sleep and
rainbows:
Dream us one.

[critical mass]

Quite like this.

I think it's about a young red-gum tree speaking to his father.
I didn't think Australia had sparrows ( I could be wrong).

**** did some research on the sparrows. They were killed and re-introduced. hence the *****Long time past and yesterday
the sparrows brushed the sky away, so i like this also.


Like
the old ones dug in deep and summer arch collapsed.

Think Hide sheltered to describe the Aborigines (sp) is sufficient and
may not need (deaf).

I like
sorry specked and ghost gum dreaming. I think it refers to a young tree.


one foot ochre yearning,
one far cloud seeking.
This sounds poetic but didn't care for it descriptively.


The last stanza must be the refraction of the rainbow serpent, off the billabong. I kind of got lost here, not really up on Australian folk lore.

Nice read.


David

[Leanne]

Thank you, David. You are right, sparrows are not native to Australia -- they are English, just as the hide-sheltered feet are.

I don't want to explain any of the images here, I'd rather not colour anyone else's reading, so whatever you read into it is right

I appreciate your feedback.

[billy]

Long time past and yesterday an age ago
the sparrows brushed the sky away
with browning wings. The summer arch the rainbow
collapsed upon the bloody soil,
and old ones dug in deep.. stopped being nomadic

The billabong has rippled long
beneath your limbs, red father. red eucalyptus/redgum
You were young and slender
when they walked
hide-sheltered feet deaf a moccasin type footwear
across her back. the earth

I am new, old one
and white as ghost gum dreaming. the bones of the bleached tree
Sorry-specked and sunburnt,
one foot ochre yearning,
one far cloud seeking. great images of wondering how life will be turn out

Long time come, you
thunder to me
and rain-washed parrots build akin to butterflies wings which start hurricanes
you with their wings.
Blood, soil, summer sleep and
rainbows:
Dream us one.

i think this is the 2nd Ngalyod based poem of yours i've read
or the same one. and bugger me if i forgot what i wrote last time


for me it's a fantastic glimpse/insight into the other side of the physical world and how both sides combine into one. a young mans experience in wanting to know what life holds. look at me me here i am come to me in dreams. i may have it all arse about tit but it's my take on the poem. all i could do was leave remarks of how i saw some of the images.

i couldn't fault it really, the enjambment in an odd place but i'm not sure that would work because of the colloquial feel to the language.

all in all a poem to match the last one of yours i gave feedback on.
i do realize that Ngalyod Refracted is the rainbow also known as the rainbow serpent
thanks for the read.

[Leanne]

It's the same one, Billy, I'm still working on it. These poems are variations on a theme, I suppose.

There has been much debate in recent years as to whether the Australian government owed apology to the Aboriginals for what's known as the "stolen generation" -- ie rehoming Aboriginal children with white families to aid "assimilation". Misguided at best, reprehensible at worst (an official apology was issued in 2008) -- but some take it even further and insist that we, descendents of convicts or other European settlers, should return the land to the traditional owners. This to me presumes that because of the colour of our skin, we can feel no deep connection with the land nor be subject to the power of the Dreaming. I can only submit that this is the only home I've known; I belong to the land and while I feel regret for the suffering of the Aboriginal people, my own ancestors weren't exactly free of suffering themselves. I don't believe it's a matter of forcing people to take blame for the past, but I will happily take responsibility for the future.

[billy]

i'm not a great believer in passing on the sins of the father. life is fluid.
the native Australians like everyone else in most countries and continents weren't born there,
they just got there first