based on kipling's gunga din
looking for crit on the 2nd verse only please.
You can chew a bloomin' ear
as you chug down luke warm beer,
cos' you're wallets filled with money and you've got it;
but when you talk of writin'
you can spend the fuckin' night in,
cos' of edits till before you're sayin' fuck-wit.
In the pigpen with the swine
it's the place i serve me time,
by helping out the needy and the newb.
And damn, within that slew
the finest man i knew
was the temperamental leader Billy din.
'e was "Din! Din! Din!
You pimpin' hump of snot-crust, Billy din!
Yo! knob-neck get here quick,
feedback, give it, make it slick!
You lazy-fucked up admin Billy Din.
An' often when he swore
to the poet who was poor,
he never meant to make 'em blinkin' blind;
an the fact he didn't slag
when a poem made 'im gag,
was testament that he was fuckin' kind.
Within the forums where they lay
writing hallmark every day.
Where a piece of what they wrote would make 'im bawl;
we offered 'im for crit
in the hope it wasn't shit
words of cliche that would make your stomach crawl.
It was "Din! Din! Din!
You wanker where in god's name have you been?
You put your shoulder in it
or i'll leave the site this minute,
if you don't critique me poem Billy Din".
looking for crit on the 2nd verse only please.
You can chew a bloomin' ear
as you chug down luke warm beer,
cos' you're wallets filled with money and you've got it;
but when you talk of writin'
you can spend the fuckin' night in,
cos' of edits till before you're sayin' fuck-wit.
In the pigpen with the swine
it's the place i serve me time,
by helping out the needy and the newb.
And damn, within that slew
the finest man i knew
was the temperamental leader Billy din.
'e was "Din! Din! Din!
You pimpin' hump of snot-crust, Billy din!
Yo! knob-neck get here quick,
feedback, give it, make it slick!
You lazy-fucked up admin Billy Din.
An' often when he swore
to the poet who was poor,
he never meant to make 'em blinkin' blind;
an the fact he didn't slag
when a poem made 'im gag,
was testament that he was fuckin' kind.
Within the forums where they lay
writing hallmark every day.
Where a piece of what they wrote would make 'im bawl;
we offered 'im for crit
in the hope it wasn't shit
words of cliche that would make your stomach crawl.
It was "Din! Din! Din!
You wanker where in god's name have you been?
You put your shoulder in it
or i'll leave the site this minute,
if you don't critique me poem Billy Din".
