Mother
#1
I caught love like a splinter in her womb,
as a child. No amount of alcohol, opiates,
or lovers could remove that.
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#2
(07-09-2011, 01:56 PM)jadielue Wrote:  I caught love like a splinter in her womb,
as a child. No amount of alcohol, opiates,
or lovers could remove that.

The opening line is wowzers. I think 'as a child' should be stricken. The rest reads beautifully.


PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
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#3
what Aish said.
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#4
Thank you, both, "as a child" just sticks to me, don't know why. :/ Haha.
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