Fides

[Leanne]

I am grave-bound. Have your envy-
ridden pony crush me nightly
with its teeth like jagged daggers
smiling at me so politely.

In the silence of the vestry
shave your whispers, bond them tightly,
offer wine from bloody roses –

seek interment on my tongue.

[Ris Yerg]

Wonderful!
It reminds me "Alice in wonderland"!
Really great work!
Enjoyed!
R.Y.

[Leanne]

Alice in Wonderland scared me spitless when I was a kid... maybe there's something to that...

Thanks very much for reading.

[billy]

the only fides i know of is the goddess of trust.
if that be she.
then you my dear were slighted.
i bow down to the 1st verse, in awe.
the rhyme is spot on.

(it's okay if i was wrong, i still love it )

[critical mass]

I am grave-bound. Have your envy-
ridden pony crush me nightly
with its teeth like jagged daggers
smiling at me so politely.

In the silence of the vestry
shave your whispers, bond them tightly,
offer wine from bloody roses –

seek interment on my tongue.

Man I'm glad billy jumped in here first.
I've been herefive or six times, deleted every response and went awau cussing.

Sometimes Fides is considered as Faith, wrongly.
You use it in a vestry, so that confused me.

I actually think this is about sexual exploitation.
You can cut off my tying fingers (3 total) if I'm wrong.

Either way great read, love the voice.


David

[heslopian]

Isn't it spelt "internment"? I really like this poem. It's ugly and sinister but playful as well, like the work of Shel Silverstein. I was also highly amused by the description of a pony as "envy-ridden".

PS: Alice scared me as a kid as well. Why did everyone in Wonderland have to be so obnoxiously cruel?

[Leanne]

Jack, interment means burial. And I think the Wonderland people were cruel because only Alice got the damn pills

Billy, David, you're both kind of right and that's as much as I'm going to say! Fides implies trust, or entering into an agreement in good faith, expecting the same from the other party. In the initial case, the exploitation was an intellectual one and the use of the Church motifs is most appropriate (I'm sure you've met the smiley hypocrite types) -- but sexual works just as well and indeed, I can apply it to other situations as well. For interpretation purposes, whatever you get out of it is the right thing.

[billy]

i specifically left out a sexual premise because i felt it would be too obvious.
it did cross my mind though. that it was a breach of trust was well shown for me.


hypocrites with smilies, well i never

[heslopian]

Ah thanks for clarifying Leanne

[abu nuwas]

I practically know it by heart, I have read so many times! We are very different; if I had written it, I should be wondering what it all meant for months, whereas you will probably tinker it out of existence. I took it as a beautiful night-mare. I kept mulling over the last line, finally, before shutting the book, deciding that far from sounding wrong, it propped the whole structure up! Well done, I enjoyed, even if there were times when I felt like braining you for your wretched ambiguity!

It reminded me of one of the Spanish playwrights of the Golden Age, Lope de Vega, who has, in 'Fuenteovejuna' the lines:

'Sacad esa blanca espada, que habeis de haacer, peleando
Tan roja como la cruz'

(Take this white sword which you must make, by killing, as red as the Cross).

[Leanne]

Oh, I like that

I think I like ambiguity because when I come back to read it again myself, and the moment of inspiration has passed, it's nice to be able to relate it to some other event or person -- because after all, "What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done; there is nothing new under the sun"