"A luxury."

[Ris Yerg]

A heaven road's covered
With the earthly dust.
My bare foot' prints
On the deserted road
Stain with boiling blood,
Despair and pain.
A loincloth and a yellow
Skull of the unknown saint
Are my the only possessions.
I have never liked the luxury.
Why do I need this shabby rag?

[critical mass]

Ris Yerg

I have trouble reading poems where every line is capitalized. Seems like it's always a new thought or sentence.
There is nothing wrong with it and it is acceptable but it confuses me.


A heaven road's covered.....reads awkward to me
With the earthly dust.
My bare foot' prints
On the deserted road
Stain with boiling blood,....maybe stained
Despair and pain.
A loincloth and a yellow
Skull of the unknown saint...can't place the yellow skull, need more info
Are my the only possessions.
I have never liked the luxury.
Why do I need this shabby rag


If I knew what the skull represented I would probably understand because it seems to me you are giving up something and keeping only what you need.

Sorry I'm so dense

David

[Ris Yerg]

Hi, David!
No worry!
You can read it as you wish!
But about the "yellow skull" - I can't help you. I'm clueless whose it. The unknown one ... Alas.
Best regards and thanks a lot for reading and interesting comment!
R.Y.

[Leanne]

I love the humility, Ris -- the bloke's carrying something priceless and otherworldly (in the eyes of those who would care about such things) and he's bothered by the fact that he's wasting a bit of cloth! Then again, the shabby rag could well mean his own flesh. For me, I think you could probably do without the fourth line completely and just have:

My bare foot' prints
Stain with boiling blood

As we already know he's on a road, from the first line.

This is intriguing, and we love a good skull mystery of course!

[billy]

i got a feel that it was about john the baptist whose head was missing for a time.
i love how the 1st person wants to get naked.

[Ris Yerg]

Hi, dear lady!
Yes, probably it would be better! Thank you!

Billy - not me! I didn't take that baptist' skull! I swear! I really don't know whose that one! I took it just in case!

Thanks a lot, friends, for very interesting comments!
R.Y.

[Aish]

A heaven road's covered
With the earthly dust.
My bare foot' prints
On the deserted road
Stain with boiling blood,
Despair and pain.
A loincloth and a yellow
Skull of the unknown saint
Are my the only possessions.
I have never liked the luxury.
Why do I need this shabby rag?

Hello!
I think 'the' in L2 interrupts your rhythm a bit, as does 'the' in L9.

I like the mysterious nature you have created.