I could kick myself... Repeatedly

[violet]

( i can't delete this, i don't know how to do it )


i'm going to re-work it

[billy]

i think it could be helped with a small edit to lose some of the unneeded words; just to trim it down a little.
the meat of the peace is okay.
thanks for the read.

[billy]

hi violet,
if possible leave your poem up and put the re worked one above it.
that way we can see and comment on the edited version as to any improvements.
one of the reasons for doing it that way is that people who reply to a poem aren't left hanging