"I feel good."

[Ris Yerg]

Under the full silver moon
I dance
With my black shadows.
I feel good.
They are ugly and blind.
So what? They are mine.
Under the full shining moon
I dance
With my black hidden "I".
I feel good.
I close my eyes.
Under the full velvet-dark moon
I dance
With my real silver shadows.
I feel good.

[Leanne]

The repetition of "I feel good" works effectively as a refrain, and in conjunction with the shadows it gives the poem a cyclical feel (like a whirling dance) that adds to the metaphor. I like the half-rhyme of blind/mine, and you keep an excellent, erratic rhythm. ' With my black hidden "I" ' is a terrific line. I am not at all keen on "velvet-dark" -- it's quite a cliche, as velvet is not actually dark, it's just become associated with the dark colours thanks to the goths. That's the one problem I have though, as this is a fine short piece.

[Ris Yerg]

Hello, dear lady!
Thank you so much for reading and kind comment!
I appreciate it very much!
R.Y.