The Garden of Death
#1
The truly despairing, like the truly happy, simply are.
They do not need validation.
Perhaps there is a kind of peace in that.

Walking through the garden of death,
like angels wrapped in contentment,
the subconscious is a tonsil.

Watch the flowers grow. Beginning in bloom,
bright petals drinking from the sky,
they mature into dust, those sentient beasts.
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe
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#2
Very good!
Enjoyed!
R.Y.
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#3
Thanks Ris
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe
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#4
(05-20-2011, 11:12 PM)Heslopian Wrote:  The truly despairing, like the truly happy, simply are.
They do not need validation.
Perhaps there is a kind of peace in that.

Walking through the garden of death,
like angels wrapped in contentment,
the subconscious is a tonsil. [b]i have no idea why but i love this verse[/b]

Watch the flowers grow. Beginning in bloom,
bright petals drinking from the sky,
they mature into dust, those sentient beasts. [sentient beasts?]

the only snag i have jack,
is the flowers being sentient beasts after maturing into dust.

a great insight i the 1st verse.
the second is a great image.
thanks for the read

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#5
The flowers mature into dust because they are sentient beasts. They're mortal like us. Would it help if I changed it to this: "they mature into dust. They're sentient beasts"? Thanks for the kind words and feedback Billy. The first verse was adapted from a comment I left on someone's facebook status. The next two verses were pretty much me trying to justify the opening one. Make it a poem and not just a statement.
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe
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#6
my mistake Blush

the suggested change would take away any ambiguity i had.
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#7
Ah okay then thanks BilboSmile
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe
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#8
I like it Jack, it has the scent of Robert Frost's "Nothing Gold Can Stay", for me. That's my favorite piece by Frost.
Chaos Maniac has a blog where he has a conversation with a Neferious Sentient Beast, it's very entertaining. I'm diggin' the image of a sentient beast, from bloom, to flower, to dust!
Great read, thanks for that!
fd

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