The Joke we call the Bible
#1
Rainbow 
In the beginning blah blah blah...

Then came Adam and Lilith, both made from the same dirt.
One day Lilith said I want to be on top.
Adam said screw you woman, your place is on the bottom.
Lilith said screw you Adam, I am out of here.
Then Adam got lonely.
God made Eve. From Adams rib this time.
They were the only 2 souls on the planet.

Then they had 2 sons. Cane and Abel I believe?
....Who suddenly had wives.

WHAT?
According to Midrashic tradition, Cain and Abel each had twin sisters, whom they were to marry. (essentially they were to each go fornicate the female version of themselves...) Anyway Cane killed Abel because he didn't get the prettier one.

The Bible starts with and is based on incest and fratricide based on jealousy. Why didnt god, who makes no mistakes, make a whole slew of people with a big gene pool instead of teaching the first humans that incest is best?
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I would like to move on to other points but only after this MAJOR discrepancy is explained clearly and logically.

Thoughts?

Please No Flaming and No Off Topic rantings Without links to validate any random ideas or "facts" tossed in here...


Big Grin

SO am I to understand that its OK to sleep with your own sister, but a male can'T sleep with another male? (Unless of course he is your own brother, then its OK?)
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#2
(02-04-2010, 01:45 AM)Scrufuss Wrote:  In the beginning blah blah blah...

Then came Adam and Lilith, both made from the same dirt.
One day Lilith said I want to be on top.
Adam said screw you woman, your place is on the bottom.
Lilith said screw you Adam, I am out of here.
Then Adam got lonely.
God made Eve. From Adams rib this time.
They were the only 2 souls on the planet.

Then they had 2 sons. Cane and Abel I believe?
....Who suddenly had wives.

WHAT?
According to Midrashic tradition, Cain and Abel each had twin sisters, whom they were to marry. (essentially they were to each go fornicate the female version of themselves...) Anyway Cane killed Abel because he didn't get the prettier one.

The Bible starts with and is based on incest and fratricide based on jealousy. Why didnt god, who makes no mistakes, make a whole slew of people with a big gene pool instead of teaching the first humans that incest is best?
------------------

I would like to move on to other points but only after this MAJOR discrepancy is explained clearly and logically.

Thoughts?

Please No Flaming and No Off Topic rantings Without links to validate any random ideas or "facts" tossed in here...


Big Grin

SO am I to understand that its OK to sleep with your own sister, but a male can'T sleep with another male? (Unless of course he is your own brother, then its OK?)
we don't have to post links, and we don't have to validate an opinion.

if you believe the bible , possibly, i'd say yes
though it does say i'm sure. you have to be married to mate.

what the midrashic and the modern bible say will always be two different things, as will Judaism and christianity.

people who dissect the bible will tell you that lilith or eve were made from man because they were essentially man. (as in; of the same species)
as they were the first it was depicted that we all stemmed from the first male. as no female was around eve was a sort of clone. (an equal in the garden) it's where many say we get the concept of the duality of man from.

why didn't god make a big gene pool?

look around :p if you belive in god they you also believe he didn't have to.
maybe he wanted us to be able to reach space before the planet became so overpopulated we couldn't move. that would be the case if he'd have started with a huge gene pool. all that aside. the bible and the midrashic are not meant to be taken literally(if many theologists are to be believed)

a ploy used to explain away many biblical anomalies

as you stated. god makes no mistakes.

i think the bible is a well written book nothing else.
but i'll play devils advocate.

just ask one question at a time
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