Memory at the Beach

[addy]

I remember the absence of sound
and the syrupy light warming everything;
my face tipped above the lapping water
and my toes burrowed in sand
as the sea dragged me by the neck
over and over
like a large, affectionate friend.

Somewhere far away my father sits fuming
and my mother has gotten tired.
But I keep my eye on the waving buoys
and imagine crossing that distance
towards a fearsome heaving embrace
while the salty wind dashes over me
like old tears in reverse,
evaporating
against the breadth of a larger world.

[Ris Yerg]

Hi, Addy!
I did read this your piece directly - like a description.
I did read it like a metaphorical piece.
And I have to say - both ways are wonderful!
Thanks for sharing!
R.Y.

[addy]

So happy you liked it RY

[heslopian]

Don't you mean "dragged" instead of "drags" in the first verse? Slight mix up of tenses there. Other than that this excellent. Rich with metaphor while also crisp in its storytelling. "Like old tears in reverse." That was my favourite line in the piece, an amzing simile, just beating out the image of the father, which though simply related sticks with me.

[billy]

I remember the absence of sound
and the syrupy light warming everything;
my face tipped above the lapping water
and my toes burrowed in sand
as the sea drags me by the neck
over and over
like a large, affectionate friend.

Somewhere far away my father sits fuming
and my mother has gotten tired.
But I keep my eye on the waving buoys i love this line.
and imagine crossing that distance
towards a fearsome heaving embrace
while the salty wind dashes over me
like old tears in reverse,
evaporating
against the breadth of a larger world.

i can't really find anything in it that would make it better than it is.
the images are great. the affection for the sea in the nostalgia is
obvious, i think you captured a slice of childhood perfectly. especially where you ignore dad. i think it's a publishable piece of poetry.
thanks for the read.

[addy]

Good catch, Jack ... will revise it now. Thanks so much!

Thanks for the kind words Billy

[ficosdarkness]

This is beautiful addy! I agree with Jack on the line about the tears in reverse, wow! I love the ocean too, it heals. Beautiful! Thanks for the read and getting back out on the beach! It was a lovely trip.

fd

[addy]

Thanks so much fd!