Moment

[heslopian]

Sunrays pirouette through my window blind,
a thousand feet determined to fill
the shadows of my stale room.
And today I welcome it. Their dance of light
on book covers piled high on either side
of my dusty stereo. Brushing their bare ankles
against the spines of DVD cases. There are
moments of joy even in sadness, be it chemical
or no, when the weight lifts for just a second,
and you feel your shoulders ease like wings.

[billy]

The sun pours through my window blind,
a thousand hands determined to fill
the shadows of my stale room.
And today I welcome it. The dance of light is and needed?
on book covers piled high on either side
of my dusty stereo. Brushing its fingertips
along the spines of DVD cases. There are
moments of joy even in sadness, be it chemical
or no, when the weight lifts for just a second,
and you feel your shoulders ease like wings.

a soft and gentle poem moving from sad to happy even if for just a moment.
i loved the last two lines, they are perfectly written.
the only nit i have is the juxtaposition between hands fill my room
and dance of light and then back to hand with 'its fingertips'
i would have loved for you to use an extended dance metaphor
such as;
The sun taps through my window blind (or a more noisy dance such as);
The sun congas through my window blind, or
The sun does a conger through my window blind

hands could then be changed to feet, fingertips could be heels or something else.

that said i love the feel of the poem and the touch of serenity it lends to the reader.

thanks for the read jmo.

[heslopian]

I love the idea of your dancing metaphor. I'll make the change now. Thanks Billy

[billy]

can you do anything with this jack

Brushing its fingertips

if you could it would give you a truly extended metaphor.
just think out of the box a little

[heslopian]

Done