~ Ci Vogliono Solo Due~

[ficosdarkness]

Two shots of hate fired off from a mouth, it's reverb as loud as a gun.
Not for love or money, that's not why they kill, this genocide's not for fun.
Two deafening blows in a religious war, another jihad has begun.
An eye for an eye, a soul for a soul and one man's son for another's son.
Young lives end before they begin, in an age old war that will never be done.
Two white roses placed atop a coffin, a strong wind blows, it leaves only one.
Ashes to ashes and dust to dust we pray, under the setting of a bloody sun.
Two thousand children are trained to fight, while their leaders are on the run.
As a new day dawns, a never-ending battle rages on, in a war that can not be won.

[Ris Yerg]

Hi!
Powerful. Truth.
Very good work.
R.Y.

[ficosdarkness]

Hi!
Powerful. Truth.
Very good work.
R.Y.

Thank you R.Y. I'm a bit rusty, I've been fighting with an incredibly strong case of writer's block and I'm trying to get my flow back. This is my "working through it piece", until I get my mojo back! I'm pleased that it grabbed you.

fd

[billy]

Two shots of hate fired off from a mouth, it's reverb as loud as a gun.
Not for love or money, that's not why they kill, this genocide's not for fun.
Two deafening blows in a religious war, another jihad has begun.
An eye for an eye, a soul for a soul and one man's son for another's son. is the 2nd son needed?
Young lives end before they begin, in an age old war that will never be done.
Two white roses placed atop a coffin, a strong wind blows, it leaves only one.
Ashes to ashes & dust to dust we pray, under the setting of a bloody sun.
Two thousand children are trained to fight, while their leaders are on the run.
As a new day dawns, a never-ending battle rages on, in a war that can not be won.

the mojo seems to be okay.

it feels a little generic so i'd go with Libya. though i can't imagine a holy war there. i think the poem has real potential if a few strong and definitive images could be used. at the moment unless we know of the white rose image it could be a war war anywhere in the middle east.

great to see you back, thanks for the read. don't be a stranger

btw, great title

[addy]

Really like your take on this, and the passion is truly palpable. The second line struck me as well, because though love and money are certainly no excuse for killing, they've become reasons to the point of cliche. This reminded me how complicated humanity is beyond that.

[ficosdarkness]

Really like your take on this, and the passion is truly palpable. The second line struck me as well, because though love and money are certainly no excuse for killing, they've become reasons to the point of cliche. This reminded me how complicated humanity is beyond that.

Thank you Addy

[heslopian]

This is excellent. A dark and haunting poem which skewers the madness of war, the pointlessness of violence. Image after image is laid upon us with startling ferocity and pain. The bloody sun, the lives ended before they begin, the funerals and grief which cripple the survivors, it all creates a dense tapestry which clings onto us and never lets go. My one quibble would be with the use of the ampersand, which seems a tad messy when used in an otherwise formal poem.
This piece reminds me somewhat of Blasted, a controversial play by Sarah Kane, about a journalist who rapes a young woman in a Leeds hotel room, and is then forced to face the horrors of war when fighting devastates the world outside and a psychotic soldier breaks in and tortures him.

[ficosdarkness]

You sir, are even poetic with your comment's and critique's. I sir, am left speechless, except to say, "Thank you."