Sandwiches
#1
In year four my class learned to make sandwiches.
Back then it required a fortnight's project,
as we composed booklets on buttering bread,
how to lay the ham or the cheese in line with the roof,
the bare white slice which would crown our villa,
a Madeira attic on the home of a witch.

I recall standing in the assembly hall
before the desk I'd been assigned,
on which my ingredients stood like tools
(I felt I was a real man today)
while my plastic apron crinkled with every movement.
We set to work and finished almost in sync.

Then came the moment when we took the first bite,
demolishing all our hard graft with a clench
of still growing teeth and jaws like wet twigs.
It continues to be my most treasured meal,
though I've long forgotten what it tasted like.
Eating a sandwich now at nineteen, it doesn't compare.
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe
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#2
This is fantastic, imo. Not only is the structure impeccable, it was utterly charming as well (I laughed out loud at "I felt like a real man today"). Nothing but love for this one Smile
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
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#3
Absolutely ... this was a great read and I was with you all the way, I could even hear the plastic apron crinkle.

Thank you Smile
You give to the world when you're giving your best to somebody else.
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#4
Thanks for your lovely praise, Addy and KathSmile
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe
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#5
sorry for not getting to this one sooner jack. the flights and other stuff are my excuse Sad
(04-09-2011, 11:21 AM)Heslopian Wrote:  In year four my class learned to make sandwiches.
Back then it required a fortnight's project, memories lol
as we composed booklets on buttering bread,
how to lay the ham or the cheese in line with the roof,
the bare white slice which would crown our villa,
a Madeira attic on the home of a witch. excellent vignette of school cookery class

I recall standing in the assembly hall
before the desk I'd been assigned,
on which my ingredients stood like tools
(I felt I was a real man today) this line gave me a smile
while my plastic apron crinkled with every movement.
We set to work and finished almost in synch. did you mean sync

Then came the moment when we took the first bite,
demolishing all our hard graft with a clench
of still growing teeth and jaws like wet twigs.
It continues to be my most treasured meal, the nostalgia is poignant
though I've long forgotten what it tasted like.
Eating a sandwich now at nineteen, it doesn't compare.
not a lot to say apart from i liked it a lot.
if i had one nit it would be to remove the 'at 19' but that's just my nit.
other than that it's a little gem.
thanks for the read as usual.
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#6
Thanks for the kind words and feedback BillySmile I'll change the spelling of "sync" in a mo.
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe
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