"Dynamism."
#1
The sun, forged from brass,
Fastened with iron hails
To the sky.
Clouds crunch on callous blue
Drop their boiling blood
On the earth.
Lower and lower a stony arch
Recently named the sky.
No space. I fly.
In blind.
Zero altitude
Flight.
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#2
Fascinating picture of the heavens as a majestic grind of godly mechanism. It's got a great feel.

I often feel puzzled by some of the images you use because they sound counter-intuitive and a little off ("callous blue", describing rain as "boiling blood"), but oddly they work in a way as something illogical and dreamlike.
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
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#3
Thank you very much, Addy!
You got the very sense of this piece! "Illogical and dreamlike".
Thanks for kind and interesting comment!
R.Y.

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