The Vultures

[heslopian]

"I like Anne Sexton because she was beautiful and she killed herself". - comment on an Anne Sexton fan page

they swoop down to feed on the reputations
of young writers who killed themselves,
beautiful women and ugly drunk men
who blew out their brains, and were
only discovered once the moths had finished.

they circle my own lines sometimes,
silver claws poised like erections rising
to meet the feel of a soft womb,
crowing and whining with pretend sympathy,
while secretly waiting until my body
shows up in a makeshift noose.
(I'm not even famous, but still some persist.)
I feel like drawing a shotgun
and blasting them out of the sky.

fuck those savage demon birds!
I’ll live until I’m eighty-two,
still entertaining twenty-four-year old men,
their arses ripe for the plucking.

[billy]

"I like Anne Sexton because she was beautiful and she killed herself". - comment on an Anne Sexton fan page

they swoop down to feed on the reputations
of young writers who killed themselves,
beautiful women and ugly drunk men
who blew out their brains, and were
only discovered once the moths had finished. the moth word feels a little weak to me

they circle my own lines sometimes,
silver claws poised like erections rising
to meet the feel of a soft womb,
crowing and whining with pretend sympathy,
while secretly waiting until my body
shows up in a makeshift noose. sorry jack but i love the 1st 6 lines of this verse
(I'm not even famous, but still some persist.)
I feel like drawing a shotgun
and blasting them out of the sky. a good similie would have worked well starting after 'blasting'

fuck those savage demon birds!
I’ll live until I’m eighty-two,
still entertaining twenty-four-year old men,
their arses ripe for the plucking,
as I still write these poems and drink my soft drinks. for me the last lines loses what you had gained.
for me it would have been better without the 'these poems and dirink my soft drinks'
would 'as i still write poetry and drink soft drinks' work?

i like this, it feels like a bit of a rant. good use of previous poets.
i actually like the pre poem part. it works well with the content of the poem and
gives and insight into what the poet is feeling.
thanks for the read.
i do like the last verse best, i like the rest of it as well but the volatility of the last verse is excellent.

[heslopian]

I think I might delete that last line altogether. I really have to break free of this stupid habit I have where I ruin a good thing with explanations. Why did you apologise for liking the first six lines of the second stanza?
Thanks for the kind words and feedback

[billy]

it's hard sometimes to know if a poem is personal or not. i liked the noose part but didn't want you to think i was callous hehe.

[heslopian]

Most of my poems are personal, but they're never cries for help or understanding. They're just poems. Art isn't therapy for me. Therapy is therapy for me. Any comments you make about the work I produce I'll never take as subjectively having anything to do with me. If we were having a conversation and I said I want to hang myself, and you said you loved that idea, then I'd be offended But this isn't conversation. It's art.

[addy]

"I like Anne Sexton because she was beautiful and she killed herself". - comment on an Anne Sexton fan page God, I laughed at this, what the hell

they swoop down to feed on the reputations
of young writers who killed themselves,
beautiful women and ugly drunk men
who blew out their brains, and were
only discovered once the moths had finished. Something about using "moths" instead of rats or worms made this extra sad for me... like they were made of paper and not flesh (and indeed, in one sense, they were)

they circle my own lines sometimes,
silver claws poised like erections rising very striking image. wow
to meet the feel of a soft womb,
crowing and whining with pretend sympathy,
while secretly waiting until my body
shows up in a makeshift noose.
(I'm not even famous, but still some persist.) great lines... incisive, no-nonsense, sincere
I feel like drawing a shotgun
and blasting them out of the sky.

fuck those savage demon birds!
I’ll live until I’m eighty-two,
still entertaining twenty-four-year old men,
their arses ripe for the plucking. You made the righteous anger here satisfyingly life-affirming and cathartic. Great end.

Again, a poem totally different from what I expected of the title. I like how quietly strong and grounded the voice here was. You, young sir, are wiser than your years

[heslopian]

You, young sir, are wiser than your years

haha Thank you very much Addy It isn't often put like that. Most people just call me a miserable sod, or a fifty-year old pretending to be a teenager I had the same reaction as you when I looked back on that comment which I used for an epigram here. It's repulsive really. All those beautiful poems and the only thing some people recall is the fact she had a pretty face and that she gassed herself.

[addy]

Don't listen to that nonsense. You are "mature".

Seriously, that fan page comment was so disrespectful rather than flattering... the most macabre, airheaded thing I've read.