Killing Memories

[heslopian]

How does one kill a memory?
Drown it, shoot it, poison its tea
with a cyanide pill, tie it to the rack
then break its back,
so only short fragments remain,
caught in the sinews of the body, the brain,
a narrative deconstructing itself.
I take these images down from their shelf,
and place them like surgical tools on a sheet.
They have a music, their own quiet beat
which grows just behind my forehead,
an orchestra playing in a hall dark as lead;
and when I hear the overture,
my mind swelling, a bilious sore,
I pick an image, close my eyes,
and wave my hands like boys at flies.

[Verbavore]

A very thoughtful provoking premise with quite a humorous final metaphor for trying to rid onesself of memories!

[heslopian]

Thanks verbavore

[billy]

How does one kill a memory?
Drown it, shoot it, poison its tea
with a cyanide pill, tie it to the rack
then break its back,
so only short fragments remain,
caught in the sinews of the body, the brain,
a narrative deconstructing itself.
I take these images down from their shelf,
and place them like surgical tools on a sheet.
They have a music, their own quiet beat
which grows just behind my forehead,
an orchestra playing in a hall dark as lead;
and when I hear the overture,
my mind swelling, a bilious sore,
I pick an image, close my eyes,
and wave my hands like boys at flies.

i'm not sure why but the surgical tools simile throws me a little.
maybe it's because in the beginning you're asking how to kill them and then in the middle of the poem they turn into instruments.
i like everything else apart from the 'at flies'

i know the meter would be screwed but the 'at' just feels as though it was used to make the flow work.

the end rhymes are spot on, the meter is a little wobbly
8 in the 1st, then another 8 then a line with 10 syls the next 4. then 8 then 11.
so maybe i take back where i said it would screw about with the meter lol.
some good original lines.
the last two are my faces. it's sort of like a conductor of an orchastera going through the notes and destroying the notes with his baton.

i think an small edit to sort the meter out would work wonders. jmo

thanks for read as always

[heslopian]

The original last line was "and try to break the binding ties", but I felt that that was too cliche so I changed it. I thought you might mention the meter. I established the rhythm purely by ear, hence the wonkiness. I'm just too lazy to measure my syllables haha. Thanks for the feedback Billy.

[billy]

the fly line is better for me