If God had meant man to fly

[purplie]

If God had meant man to fly 
He would have made some people level-headed 
    And some people batty 
    And some just reckless fools 

If God had meant man to fly 
He would have made high sea-cliffs without rails 
    Rivers falling into dim mist 
    Rocky peaks for no reason 
    And the urge to jump 

He would have made priests who thought they knew God 
    And heretics who thought the priests didn't 
    And a few people quiet enough 
    To hear them both 

And we would be squinting at the sky
Because He would have set the reflection
    Of His unbearable face in the high noon
    Invented color for the sake of evening 
    Whirled sparks and orreries through the night 

If God had meant man to fly 
He would have imagined trees 
    And bird nests 
    And birds 
    And dawn 
    And then He would have taught the birds to sing.

[busker]

If God had meant man to fly …. Good opening. Holds my attention 
He would have made some people level-headed 
    And some people batty 
    And some just reckless fools …. Nice. I’m drawn into S2

If God had meant man to fly …. I don’t like the repetition here.
He would have made high sea-cliffs without rails 
    Rivers falling into dim mist 
    Rocky peaks for no reason 
    And the urge to jump … excellent 

He would have made priests who thought they knew God … “he would have made” is too many words. Lose it?
    And heretics who thought the priests didn't … “the priests didn’t” is again, too many words 
    And a few people quiet enough 
    To hear them both 

And we would be squinting at the sky
Because He would have set the reflection … “would / would” ugh
    Of His unbearable face in the high noon
    Invented color for the sake of evening 
    Whirled sparks and orreries through the night …. Gorgeous 

If God had meant man to fly 
He would have imagined trees 
    And bird nests 
    And birds 
    And dawn 
    And then He would have taught the birds to sing…..lose “he would have”

It’s a beautiful poem that would gain from losing some of the loose ends

[matsunosuperfan]

Seconding busker
Just cut some of the fluff, this is really well focused and the gestures are compelling
Good register you found for this voice, not too high falutin but still able to be clear eyed and declarative

[hylas]

If God had meant man to fly - don't like the rhythm of this. Either cutting "had" or adding "meant *for* man" would sound much nicer, though cutting "had" might be less natural. 
He would have made some people level-headed 
    And some people batty 
    And some just reckless fools 
- Including both "batty" and "reckless fools" seems redundant. Also, doesn't God just need to create reckless fools/batty people? How do the level-headed people help anything?

If God had meant man to fly 
He would have made high sea-cliffs without rails 
    Rivers falling into dim mist 
    Rocky peaks for no reason 
    And the urge to jump  
- whole stanza is fantastic *mwah* beautiful (aside from "God *had* meant" recurring in L1)

He would have made priests who thought they knew God 
    And heretics who thought the priests didn't
    And a few people quiet enough 
    To hear them both 
- It's interesting to wonder why God didn't just make "man can fly" the orthodoxy, but I don't see why someone would need to hear both priests and heretics to fly. Same reason as we need both level-headed people and crazies I suppose, but I have no idea what that reason is. IMO the speaker also sounds arrogant/stuck-up in the last two lines - worst part of the poem for me.

And we would be squinting at the sky
Because He would have set the reflection
    Of His unbearable face in the high noon - The sun as a reflection is lovely
    Invented color for the sake of evening  - !!! great line!!!
    Whirled sparks and orreries through the night  - don't love the sound of "orreries through", my tongue trips over it a bit. Lovely image though. 

If God had meant man to fly 
He would have imagined trees 
    And bird nests 
    And birds 
    And dawn 
    And then He would have taught the birds to sing. - This should either be "Then taught the birds to sing" or "And taught the birds to sing"

I love S2, almost love S4 and S5, and didn't care for S1 or S3 much at all.